eXperience; observation of fact(s) or event(s)

Fenomena 31 Jan

2012-01-30T19:45:00.002+08:00

*Dup*Dap*Dup*Dap*

Tak tenteram langsung

Biar masa berdetik cergas

Dan doakanlah yang terbaik

Walau apa jua

Allah Maha Kuasa

Walau apa jua

Hati harus redha

Ikhlas menerima ketentuan Dia

Ya Allah

Subhanallah

Tapi tak sanggup

Kecewakan harapan

Ayah dan Bonda

*sigh*

The Stalker!

2012-01-30T01:17:00.002+08:00

HAHAHAHAH! Hye awak! sure terkejut kan! :p BAHAHAH!!!

Nor Sharizad nama diberi

Gelarannya 'Monster'!!!

Sebab dia nak nama dia dekat dengan ehem ehem dlm phonebook saye! HEehehe..

Tapi kenapa monster? sebab dia macam charizard dlm pokemon. Eekekeke.. juz kidding...

Dia stalk I... surprisingly... she always read my blog, surprisingly... hahahaha...

Thank you for coming back to us after lama mendiamkan diri

Thank you for today, for sending me home... thank you for potato salad... hehehe... thank you for supporting me in whatever I do... hehehehe~

Kita sayang awak laaaa Shasha! takya cakap pun sure awak tau. thanks! and I know you love me too ;)

Pizza Gathering

2012-01-30T00:25:00.004+08:00

Yeay! the usual gathering. tapi dah lama jugak la tak bwt cmni coz i've been pretty busy kan. ni cuti 3 minggu baru la dapat plan all this.. hehe.. oh no. cuti tinggal seminggu je lagi. *stress* hahaha. i want more holssss...

usrah kali ni, handled by Ustzh Jehan. Thanks Jehan. It's a very good reminder to all of us, then semua express ourselves on issues we had. Hehe.. Thanks again. We shud do it more often. Takde pizza pun takpe. Hehehe~We recite Al-Isra' verse 23-26 if I'm not mistaken. Adab pergaulan dengan ibu bapa... =) eventhough benda ni semua pun kita dah tau, but it is very very important to keep on reminding each other so that Iman kita sentiasa diperbaharui. I loikeeee!!! Hati rasa tenang sikit. hehehe... thanksss... sayang korg!

Then the guys came around 8 pm, and ordered pizzas for dinner... Overall, ade 14 orang datang...

And finally tercapai jugak cita-cita nak makan pizza! Huehuehue!!! dari last week lagi kot, and sha pakse I tunggu this gathering baru boleh makan pizza... hahahah!

Ada insiden yang memalukan. Hahaha. tapi lantak la. eric punya pasal lah ni. :p Sorry korg yea..

I LOVE him... - Part 2

2012-01-28T23:07:00.002+08:00

Last 2 week... 15th January 2012... Mama masak nasik budu...

For those yang tak tau.. Nasi budu in my family is... nasi putih, ikan bakar, ikan singgang, budu, and ulam-ulaman. perfect!

and mama invited my uncle, aunty, and cousins to come over to have lunch with us. that morning i pergi Broga, so balik by lunch tu, my aunty and uncle dah ada. hehe. segan kejap. so after bersihkan diri, I pun join them for lunch. then ade cousins laen2 datang lagi. cousins yang memang always buat bising with my siblings since kitorang kecik lagi. hehehe.

then kakNisa bawak satu gambar ni masa kitorang kecik. picture of me, kaknisa, abangyong and abgmirul... so bukak la cerita zaman kecik2... how abangYong always buli me and all... time tu Yong tengah solat, so sedap je kitorang mengumpat kat living hall. eheheks!

then suddenly Yong keluar and kakAyu said... "OOOO! Naza cerita dulu you suka buli dia yea. you tolak dia semua... nakal..."

then Yong sengih2... hahahaha... "tapi tengok la sekarang siapa buli siapa..." he's referring to his wife la. hehek...

then kakAyu replied... "sebab tu you dapat wife anak ketiga.. hehehe" KakAyu pun anak ketiga sama macam I. hehehe...

then Yong gelak gila! and he said..."Karma!!! dulu I buli naza.. sekarang I kena buli dengan you.."

then kakAyu said... "Hahaha! Tuh la... nakal lagi..." then kitorang semua gelak... den dok borak2 lagi...

suddenly he came to me and said... " Ok la Naza... yong mengaku dulu Yong selalu buli awak... Yong mintak maaf... HAHAHA... boleh tak awak tolong mintak kakAyu stop buli Yong?"

and kitorang semua gelak!!! heheheheh~

For those yang tau how we are before he got married, sure faham how happy I am bila dia macam ni... hehehe...

Jangan Tertekan

2012-01-28T22:55:00.002+08:00

Reminding myself:

Jangan stress.

This must be due to... results coming out soon! 2 more days!

Stress nya! Takut what will come out. I just hope takde 'D' ok! I can't afford to repeat any paper, coz papa dah warning... 'Papa dah tak nak bayar fees after short semester ni!' *gulp* nak telan liur pun tak boleh dah!

Tapi... apa pun yang keluar nanti, aku doa Allah kuatkan hati supaya aku boleh go through semua nya. Ada hikmahnya! Like I failed Intermediate Macro mase second year dulu, after I repeat that subject, I dapat lecturer yang sangat best! Dr Ihsan, I will not forget. I faham everything that he taught. Thank you, Dr Ihsan =)

But I sooo need to pass every subject. Buat kerja gila ambik 7 subject, kan... I will regret it kalau ada yang 'fail'. *sigh* sorry. I know dah berapa kali my friends reminded me, jangan fikir negative, but I couldn't help it...

And yeah, tadi after I talked to Ain, hilang sikit stress. Huehue. Mana nak cari kawan macam tu? No matter what I did or what happen to me, dia sentiasa support I. Yeah. She's a precious friend sent by Allah... I believe that Allah sent my lovely family and friends to support me to go through life, and reminded me of how important Islam is in our life. That is, to achieve final destination, Jannah...

Ehem! Mcm org tu la... 'Till Jannah' awhhhh! so sweet! Hehehehe.

Old Memories

2012-01-27T01:13:00.000+08:00

Pagi tadi mengemas rumah. Packed some of my stuffs. dah 3 kotak okay!!! tak tau la berapa kotak akan diangkut nanti *_*' Ni lah I malas nak pindah rumah. And!!! I found banyak kenangan dulu2... my buku conteng masa zaman sekolah. sempat 'whatsapp' man coz dekat planner I die tulis name die.. den ade 'since 1989'.. haha so funny! faizzul pun ada bwt cmtu. Rindu zaman sekolah. I sangat2 rapat with my friends. buku conteng I dah jadi mcm buku conteng diorang! Haha.

And teringat ada this one time, I borrowed Man's chemistry notes, then dia macam ada salah eja or something... so i bulatkan besar2 and comment beside it. then when I passed it back, dia gelak gila. Hehehe. Then in that same week, he borrowed my notes and I ade spelling error jugak. So kena the same thing. Hehehe. Good old days, ey?

And we used to lepak satu meja and cerita macam2. endless stories! dengan Effa, Ain, Ham, Naf, Nicole... and we created our own, 'Aku, Kris & Kristal'... and back then, I lurve to write stories!!! I don't know what happened to me now. Nak start tulis aje terus blank. I dah hilang that skill. Huhu. I lurve to bwt poem or sajak... time bosan je akan mengarang dalam notebook, den bila Man baca sure die gelakkan. hahaha...

Oh! and I also found our so called 'MSN chat' in my notebook! Hahahaha! siap ade tukar2 status. Hahahaha. Me and Ain, must be bergossip while cikgu mengajar. Haha. Dulu, bila ada masalah I akan emooooo sgt2. But now, I dah boleh control skit :) Hehehe~ Bila ada problem, it's like the world is cheating on me. Sekarang boleh bwt dunno je. Tapi I still freak out bila kena marah. Hahahah!

Found our photos... cards from friends and cousin... AWH!!! sgt sweet kan? I miss sending cards to ppl. more valuable la I rasa. now semua fb... bbm... whatsapp.. text msg je.. tak sweet langsung! hahahaha. I lurve cards and long speech inside it! HEHEHEHE~ *drama*

Hols Bebeh!

2012-01-21T19:24:00.003+08:00

Hi!

I'm just so bored, so akan bebel sini. korg tak perlu bace pun. sekian.

Hahahah~ Dah seminggu habis exam. exactly a week ago... a ah! sabtu lepas habis exam.. and memang like tak lekat kat rumah, so I decided to stay HOME tonight. which.... I dun really trust myself utk berjaya buat sebegitu, so wish me luck... Ape I bwt???

So Saturday habis exam kan. went for lunch at Gomone Ampang with friends, then balek kemas2 bilik, then gi tengok movie kat wangsa walk and lepak2... dalam kul 9 cmtu bru I balek rmh. Heeee~

Sunday... went to Broga... klua cm kul 4 pagi ok! and balek around 1230 sampai rumah. then my aunty, uncle n cousins datang lunch kt rmh I. mama bwt nasi budu! nyumz!!! precioussss!!! then petang tu went out with Eric n Effa kejap to settle few things :p

Monday... Errr! Jup! tak igt.... :s what did I do eh? OOOO!!! pergi UIA nak settle saman and check-out bilik. Luckily eric teman and tolong drive coz habis sakit satu badan due to the trip to Broga. OMG! did I tell you super rmai org kt broga cm pegi pasar malam! Hohoooo... reminder, jgn pergi weekend... but d view still didnt dissapoint me. menenangkan :) Then after gi UIA, lepak kt mcD coz Eric nak edit his resume to be sent away. Ham joined us so dapat catch up. best! then malam tu pulak teman Effa g OU coz dia nak beli vouchers to be given as bday gift kat office. So yeah end up balik lewat jugak. Around 1030 cmtu kot..

Tuesday... Just stayed at home during d day. Eh, ye ke? Tak ingat... tapi malam tu went out dinner with Ain and her sis, Sarah. Ooooo! I had fun! it's our annual dinner. did I tell u? Me and Ain will have annual dinner where ktrg akan dress up and pegi memane yg bes! Heheheh.. Well, i takde la dress up sangat... Biase je. tp Ain as usual! gorgeous all d time! ;) so we went to solaris Dutamas.. tak decide pun nak makan kat mane, juz pergi and nak cari pape yang best... masuk je, nampak wondermilk, and Ain said Sarah dah lama teringin nak try wondermilk, so we dine in! Hueeee!!! Bessssssss... sbb dpt kenakan Ain :p

Wednesday, keluar dengan Eric lagi.... pergi OU coz I nak cari something for ain, print some photos, including family photo yang I nak hantar to Tok Ayah. Oh! I miss Tok Ayah and Cik... Nak balik kelantannnnn!!! Tapi NO NO on new year coz last year balik time new year kena jam TEROK. TQ! Heheheh... The malam tu, I went to UIA PJ for Ustd Kazim's Islamic Talk. Oh bessss! He's so funny! I loikeee... I pergi dengan Mama, and meet Yong and KakAyu kat sane. Yong and KakAyu sentiasa follow Ustd Kazim. Bangi, Klang, Cheras, diorg slalu pegi. Heeee~

Then lepas Ustd Kazim tu me and Mama lapar, so ktrg g mkn kt uptown berdua! Ekekekeke!

Thursday. Gahhhh! Hari yang paling stressful. I woke up super lambat coz I depress. face d fact! Ain fly ke OZ land... :( Tapi takpe, insyaAllah we'll meet in December. or maybe winter??? wehuuu~ sedih sedih. brp kali I nangis. habiskan air mata sebelum jumpa Ain. Kekekekeek!

Then petang tu pergi rumah Ain dengan Mama. Mama pun cakap nak jumpa Ain before she left. Hehehe. And trying as hard as we can to sumbat semua barang Ain in one big luggage, so that hand luggage dia tak banyak sangat. Hehe. So hugged her and say Goodbye. Gosh! I gonna miss her a lot! If it's hard for me, sure it is harder for her. :'( TSK TSK!!!!! *stress*

Then malam tu pergi KLIA teman Effa and Eric. Ain board in around 930, so balik lambat lah jugak. Huhu.

Tiap2 malam keluar *_*' tu lah i bertekad nak stay at home tonight. Gahaha~

La Tahzan!

2012-01-17T15:27:00.001+08:00

Don't be sad...

We've been thru this, right? U're leaving... and you'll come back...

I'll be waiting for you

I LOVE him...

2012-01-09T00:50:00.003+08:00

i am smilining happily...pasal... teringat insiden during our lunch gathering for papa's bday! hehehehe...

effa and ain joined lunch wif my family and aunty zai's coz mama masak nasi kerabu, and teringat ain love it, then effa pn ckp die sorg kt rmh, so i suro drg dtg!!! hehehe.. thanks for coming korggggg!!! and as usual la ain dok main ngan ifannnn! haaha so comel!

then effa bisng psl die x dpt tgk ombak rindu lg. so i ckp nnt ambik kt rmh kaklong, ade dlm laptop... suddenly....

yong yg tengah duduk on d sofa bangun dengan semangat... and he said...

"naza! tuhan tolong lembutkan hati dia...." seluk tgn dlm pocket and pass me his thumbdrive... hahahahahh.... so i was all xcited...

"ha?? dpt yg baru eh? yg dah terang? yong dah tengok???" hehehehehehhehe....

I love you, Abg Yong!!!!

1st January 2012

2012-01-01T13:19:00.002+08:00

First time tulis date tuk 2012...

Finally... I rasa lega...

Cause Finally~ after SIX freaking yearsss...

I think...

I've open my heart to someone else...

But I don't expect or hope for anything...

Biar Allah tentukan segalanya

2011

2011-12-31T13:50:00.003+08:00

Today is the last day of 2011... rse cm bru je msok tahun ni, tapi dah nak masuk tahun baru pun, in less than 12 hours.. how time flies.. tahun ni sgt mencabar for me.. seriouslyyyyyyyy....

I had a great time with production team, teater cintaku milik siapa.. thaks korg... nak sebut name sorg2 pon payah.. rmai sgt... thanks a lot to Ahmed Rowin yang 'melamar' i tuk join production tu, jd asst director... thank u for giving me such an opportnity.. i takkan lpe our jalan TAR.. haha.. it was so funny.. eventho dlm rushing2 tu, and kejap je, i had so much fun.. n i takkan lpe adik2 yg besss.... senior2 juga... dil, kluang n jue! Thnk u!! Pengalaman perform dekat UKM jgk! Hehehe. Eventho i had hard time jgk, catching up wif studies, had been so busy trying to cope with evrthing, tp Alhamdulillah, i did go thru it finally.. tak sia2 siap jatuh tangga, tercalar kereta, balik rumah nangis2... hahahahahaha... it was great.. and thanks to affa, faizzul, effa, ham and ika who came to see the performance eventho drg dpt tgk i angkat baldi je .. hahahaha~

results was unexpected. yeaaa... eventho xde la sampai dpt dean's list, but it was better than the previous sem. thank u Allah... dalam kelam kabut kalut tu, Allah banyak bantu I, kuatkan semangat and tabah...

right after final exam, the next day terus masuk kerja dekat Kumpulan MOFAZ Sdn Bhd. Masuk awal gile sebab nak kerja sekali ngan effa for a week, so I can learn things... I gotta know Kak Shaja (boss), Kak Aisyah, Kak Anor and Zuqi. Zuqi best, he's the one yang banyak spend time dengan I mase cuti 5 bulan tu. hehehehe. we even beratur the whole day dekat Curve to get the first 300 ppl in Malaysia to get it for RM999...!!! Hehehehe! Semangat kan, sampai terus I demam the next day...

Dekat Mofaz I banyak belajar selok-belok management. Looking at how kakShaja handle HRteam, I learn a lot. being scolded for my own good, doing mistakes and learn from it. KakAisyah and KakAnor supported me all way through. and I met Fion and Fendy yang kelakar! Hehehe. Eventho kadang2 rasa mcm kena buli, buat kerja itu ini, but that's where I learn to do things. Tak pernah sekali pun I regret spending my whole holidays dekat Mofaz, coz kat situ I belajar tentang dunia sebenar. Syukur, thank you Allah sbb kasi I peluang mcm tu. Thanks to Effa jugak coz she help me getting the job :)

While I was working at Mofaz. I think after a month cmtu la, I had the worst time of my life. Mata I mcm blurry eventho dah pakai lense. Then I couldn't stand lights. So I was afraid something wrong with my lense, pergi lah jumpa optometrist. Then he said surface kornea I mcm x clear. So he advise me to see eye specialist. Mule2 dah cuak sebab specialist sureeee la mahal! I dah la saving for the OZ trip... then finds out kat Hosp Sg Buloh where abgFattah is working ade eye specialist, so I requested for an appointment.

So I went there for the first time with Effa. she accompanied me. Dr Roha attended me, and she showed ade mcm fungal infection. white spots... so dia kasi lah ubat itu ini.. she said it should be okay.. After a week, it gets worse, makin merah and makin tak tahan kena cahaya (photophobia), and I stopped using the medication. So pergi jumpa doctor another time, she diagnosed 'Acanthamoeba Keratitis'... I freaked out dengar nama scientific cmtu, and she wanted to admit me into the ward, tp I tak nak. HEhehehe~ so she said its ok, but I have to come every single day for follow up. SANGGUP OK! Heeeee~ So for 2 weeks I went to the hospital every single day. Effa banyak kali teman, coz Mama busy jaga cucu. If Effa tak teman, I drove myself and kena marah dengan Ain coz all the medications I'm using boleh buat I pening and blur. Heheh! MC 3 hari bersambung jd seminggu, bersambung jadi 2 minggu... Then I tot that should be the last check up, tapi tidak. Boss Dr. Roha tu marah dah, suruh ward me in! Huehuehue~ So I have no choice.

So that's where I am for 8 days. Hosp Sungai Buloh, Ward 4B... The first day I was admitted, Effa, Sha and Eric came to see me. Hehe.. Terharu la korg. Thanks. Ham pun ade datang visit. Sha and Effa came almost everyday... Mama and Papa pun datang everyday... AbangFattah tak payah cakap la. Tiap2 hari dia datang gelakkan I. Coz his patients (ENT) stayed in the same ward wif me. So tiap2 hari dia kena round ward. KakAisyah, KakAnor and Zuqi pun datang... After 3 days I stayed in the ward, then the doctor told me I should just forget bout the Aussie trip, coz to properly be okay, it'll take 6 to 8 months... coz time tu pun, I had to drop medications every hour, so it's quite impossible to travel with loads of medications. I was devastated, crying my eyes out, and only to Allah I beg for strength to go through it. Seriously... time tu hidup I hanya kerana Dia. I never felt so close to Him, and I learn a lot that kita hanya merancang, Allah yang menentukan... Everything is ready. Airtix, passport, visa, credit card... Tinggal nak pack barang je.. Huuuu~ Ujian yang sangat besar for me, and I know kwn2 I pun sedih jugak...

Subhanallah...

Then KakLong dapat new baby boy! Hehehe. Itu pun time yang agak sukar for my family. The baby kena tahan for almost a weak coz jantung dia tak cukup kuat. Berdebar-debar semua org tunggu baby tu ok. huhu. Alhamdulillah, Ikhwan dah besar and sihat! =) he's such a cuty lil boy!!! (mne de baby x cute)...

Raya mcm biasa. this time, first time kakAyu raya pertama dengan kitorang dekat Pangkal Gong, Kelantan. coz last year kakAyu and Yong beraya kat KL dlu, rye ketiga bru kt kelantan. bes !!! aunty yati (mama's sis) pun ade balek sane, so meriah la. slalunye aunty yati balik belah husband die je. heheheh...

After raya, my grandma, Cik (mama's mom) ikot balik KL. she stays in Melaka.. so she stayed at our hse for few days, then dia nak pergi rumah anak dia kat Shah Alam pulak, so mama papa send her there. I tak sempat say goodbye pun, balik ofis je tengok cik dah takde. over the weekend, kitorang dapat news Cik passed away in Melaka. I was shocked!!! and the first thing I that crossed my mind was the few days she stayed with us. I pimpin dia pergi toilet, nak makan, nak duduk depan tv. it was a short while and how I wish I could spend more time with her, hug her before she go :( tp Allah lebih sayangkan dia. we went to Melaka and bawak jenazah to Kelantan, coz she wishes to be kept in Kelantan setanah dengan kubur arwah suami dia. I'm so happy for her coz her funeral went so well, semuanya indah je. Hope dia di alam sana pun bahagia... Al-Fatihah...

She passed away on Saturday night, tanam Sunday morning. Monday tu I dah kena register UIA. So ktrg semua rushing balik KL. coz semua pun kerja on Monday... so start la life in UIA again...

I participated in another theater, diajak oleh Rowin jgk. hehe.. this time along with famous theater director in UIA, Dian Sira! Hehe. she's so funny and cheeky! I jd asst director together with Nadia Azizi and Muiz Razak. As usual, ada la dugaan2 dlm teater kan, technical problem here and there, but Alhamdulillah, the crowd enjoyed the show. Mama, KakAyu, AbgYong, and Nuzul came to see the theatre.. Alia and Attiyah jugak! Hehe thanks korg.. KakAyu kate Yong gelakkkkk je non-stop and kuat pulak tu. Till Nuzul cakap dia tak jadi nak gelak sbb malu dah yong gelak kuat. Hehehe~ klau nak tengok teater ni, blh cari kt youtube 'Alkisah Bapakku Dot Dot Dot' tapi tak clear la.. blh la dgr skit2. hehehe..

Tahun ni I banyak argue with my best friend. I'm sorry for all the wrongs I did. For all the emotional moments I created. Hope our friendship won't change and this bond will grow stronger...

I realize tahun ni I paling banyak susahkan everyone. I complain a lot. I cried a lot. Merajuk a lot! Hahaha... spent a lot too! had to repair my car lagi... dpt burfday prezen Blackberry plakk... Huuuu~ surprise bday by Ain Effa Ham Eric dtg uia la... alia belikan cupcakes la... Dil kasi prezens la... Hehehe... jasa baik korg tak mampu I nak balas... Korg semua bwt I happy! Heeee~ only Allah can repay all of your good deeds... Allah bagi I family and friends yang sangat baik :D

I'm proud to say... "I survived 2011"

2011-12-28T00:48:00.001+08:00

Tibe-tibe...
I miss him, a lot.. sgt2
:'(
D last time we met.. was a month ago..
Kire ok la tu..
Selalunye berbulan or almost a year la x jmpe..

If u ever read this...
I miss u..
I miss ur random texts..
I miss d way u gave attention to me..

#£&*-+(+-%&%:>,>+

Ok back to BOOKS

Can't Get Enuf of Them

2011-12-09T00:59:00.002+08:00

I don't know whyyyy...
Eventho I see them everyday!
Trying to spend time as much as I can...
Terus balik rumah right after my classes...
But I can't to hv get enuf of them.
I still miss them...
and so can't wait for the weekend.
Which our journey will start tomorrow! eh! today la, da 1 pagi da ni...

Am trying as hard as I can to finish my assignments,
coz I don't want anything to spoil my mood! HEHEHE!

I'm in love with them...
Mama and Papa yang always fulfil whatever I want..
KakLong yang selalu poyo2, but I know she loves me a lot...
Abang Yong yang always manja dengan wife die..
AbangFattah yang suke kutuk I! hahahahah
Nuzul yang kononnye 'tak heran'...
But I love them..
Adorable nephews and niece yang sgt annoying, tapi tak pernah buat I bosan...

I'm in LOVE. and no one can replace them. They're always close to my heart.
=D

Sneak Peek

2011-10-19T00:20:00.002+08:00

Ohok ohok! Brape zaman xupdate ni?hueeee...
Currently, teramat sgt busyyyyy...
Weekdays? Mmg xde chance nk blk rmh da...
Schedule? Pack gile nk mampos. Berlari sane sini... bilik ni tuk msok kul 12 am smpi 8am je.. tuk sepahkan sume buku n baju.
Seriously? I'm exhausted.. sabtu ahad mcm sehari je! Huarghhh.... tension ok! I miss home everyday!
Mujur lah mama papa rajin datang dinner ng I kat sini... heeee...
Xde la slalu, once a week je..,
I'm so so so tired. Lots of chapters to catch up! Sem ni pulak byk sbject...
7 subject, ok! Nk mampos rsenye...
Group discussion n assignments berderet!
Everynight training theatre pulak doh...
Ya Allah... berikan aku kekuatan...

Tak Sangka:

2011-09-22T18:06:00.002+08:00

Sekarang dah september. (Rasa mcm baru je new year)
Raya sebulan dah nak habis.
Ain is coming back soon.
Tak dapat pegi Aussie sebab eye infection je.
I dah final year.
Kawan-kawan lain mostly dah kerja.
Jehan dah nak grad jugak.
My bestfriend dah jadi stranger.
So many things happen in a year.
Kerja selama 5 bulan dekat MOFAZ.
Pernah dapat MC selama sebulan.
Still have to go to hospital every month.
Phone finally buat hal. He has been so good all this while.
I'm almost 22. (Dah besar rupanya)
I joined production club after being inactive for 2 years in UIA.
Tak sempat pergi tempat Jehan.

Siapa sangka our life has changed a lot from time to time... Many ppl come and go... Many challenges... and pains...

Allah dah rancang semuanya.

Takdir Dia.

The Other Side

2011-09-20T23:44:00.003+08:00

I juz wanna cry out loud. 2nd week in uia and it sucks..
1. Tak bwk bantal. Tidur beralaskan tangan je la. I already put my pillows on the sofa, and bile nak g uia, i din see d pillows there, so i tot my mom already put it in d car.. rupa-rupanya papa ambik guna, dats y its not there. Sabaaaaa!

2. Semalam... Tiba2 tgh makan lunch, gigi sakit! Berdenyut-denyut nonstop n its getting worse. Ni i dah makan ponstan so tak sakit sgt... appointment with dentist tomorrow morning.

3. I was waiting for a call from the dentist, hoping to get earlier appointment if ade org cancel, so i letak phone atas riba while listening to lecture, sekali phone jatuh... :( then tgk2 touch screen dah tak boleh tekan. Ok sedih sgt! Sbb i mmg syg fon tu. Prezen from papaa.. waaaaaa... so fon dah masuk icu. Hope its not too expensive, or else x berbaloi..

So bila on the way blk rmh, fkir fon n gigi, i rase nk ngs... da la nk saving duit nk g merantau, byk pulak kena spend...

InsyaAllah... nnt Allah bg rezeki dr segi lain... Amin!

Pastu, td dpt tau a fren of mine, my childhood fren, juz lost his dad.. Ya Allah, i nk ngs sbb fon, ade org kehilangan ayah, tmpt bergantung harap... Syukur kpd Allah, Dia uji i sikit je..

To my dear fren, Pesot.. hope everything is fine, tabah, and sabar lalui semua ni. Mati itu pasti, kita kena terima takdir Dia... sama2 kita doakan arwah dicucuri rahmat dan diampunkan segala dosa..

Dealing with death is not easy. But we must move on coz we dunno what will happen to us... utk dptkn aftrlife yg elok, kehidupan sementara ni mesti elok...

Kacau

2011-09-16T22:36:00.002+08:00

Tiba-tiba hati aku hancur luluh
Sebak tak semena-mena
Getar yang hanya aku rasa
Degup yang tidak sekata
Andai bumi terbelah dua
Seakan ombak bergolak noda
Angin kencang
Ribut taufan
Memecah sepi dingin

Ya Rabb
Dugaan ini datangnya dariMu
Diri ini wujudnya keranaMu
Hati ini masih keliru mencari cintaMu
Jiwa ini seakan kosong tunggu berisi

In Memory

2011-09-16T16:11:00.002+08:00

It has been 7 days since Cik left us. I tak lupa tuk sedekahkan alFatihah and baca Yaasin everyday.. at least once a day.. papa ckp, dlm masa 7 hr, roh masih berkeliaran, melawat anak cucu, tgk kita tgh bwt ape...

Cik... bukan I tak sedih Cik pergi, tapi sebolehnya I tak nak fikir kesedihan I... i dun wanna say anything infront of my mom that reminds her of Cik... sebolehnya i banyak borak2 ng mama supaye die tak sedih...

Teringat masa before puasa, i always ajak mama balik melaka jumpa cik... tp mmg semua busy gile, especially mama, coz kaklong still dlm pantang, and mama kena jaga baby... i told mama kalau papa tak larat pun, i can drive for her, coz dulu pun i pernah drive balik melaka...

I missed her a lot. Tak sempat nak spend banyak time dengan Cik... everytime jumpa, Cik mesti tanya pasal how nak ambik wudhuk dengan betul, and if dia tak larat nak angkat kaki, takpe ke... i told her its ok.. kita kena buat apa yang termampu je.. tak sangka pagi selasa, i keluar pergi kerja i cakap dekat Cik.. "bye cik. Naza g kerja dulu.." and thats the last time i talked to her... i din noe mama gonna send her to my aunt's house later that evening. I tot she gonna stay with us till weekend..

I redha, setiap yg hidup pasti kembali ke pangkuan Allah swt. Hidup ni hanya semntara, mcm mimpii.. bile kita mati, tu baru realiti..

Baru td mama ckp dgn i... "Cik da takde. Tah bila pulak giliran mama.." then i told her.. "ma... mati tu sesuatu yg dah pasti. Jgn ckp mama, kita semua pun tunggu masa je. Tak tau bila akn mati. Tak kira usia.." dlm hti i, tah2 i yg pergi dulu before mama pun, tak tau kn..

I like how papa deal with death... dia cool aje. Asalkan jenazah selamat dikebumikan, Alhamdulillah... then sedekah kepada arwah... tak perlu lg igt wtvr happens before... life must go on for us who's still in this world.. arwah tu dh slmt dah, kita yg kt dunia ni x slmt lg.. huuuu...

Honestly... i rindu Cik... lepas ni, dah takde sape dah dekat Melaka... tak blh visit Cik dah... tak sangka, cepat Cik pergi..

Al-Fatihah~

to Him all things return

2011-09-12T13:11:00.005+08:00

i am very so so exhausted right now. tapi kena kuatkn jugak. still got 2 classes to go for d day. and my tummy really hurt due to sleepless nights, hunger & stress... i dun wanna skip classes today, coz im skipping morning classes tomorrow. another eye checkup for i dont know how many times..

it has been an adventurous weekend. and again, kita hanya merancang, Allah yg menentukan segalanya. i tot this weekend will be so relaxed and getting ready to go back to uni after 5 months. yeah, i think i forgot most ecnomic terms that i have learned. huhu. tot wanna do a simple revision too.. but i can't even get enough sleep over the weekend..

Cik (my granma) passed away on saturday. i was about to park my car in front of the house when my dad told me. mama was devastated, but she's okay now. when i got the news, the first thing that crossed my mind "baru je few days ago she was sleeping on my bed, and sy pimpin Cik nak pergi toilet gosok gigi. sy pimpin Cik nak makan, nak duduk, and wherever she wanna go"

i was shocked and cried in the car till i can control myself. i gotta be strong for mama..

cut the story short, all of us went to melaka, and bawak jenazah balik kelantan.. it was my first time experience duduk dalam van jenazah.. we arrive in kelantan on sunday 7am, then solat jenazah at 9am and terus kebumikan.. Alhamdulillah evrything went well, cuaca the whole day mendung and sejuk, Cik dapat tanah kubur betul2 dpn pagar, senang nak cari

it was sad to realize i cnt see her anymore, tp bile teringat dia pergi dlm keadaan yg baik, tenang, n semua org pn berpuas hti sbb evrything went well, i rse so happy for her.. insyaAllah, smoga Allah mencucuri rhmt arwah Cik.. even we dun get to spend much time together, but i love her...

Al-Fatihah

Experience

2011-09-05T23:47:00.004+08:00

semua org mesti ade pengalaman yang tak dpt dilupakan...

pengalaman yg bagaikan mimpi ngeri...

how i wish semua tu tak terjadi...

how glad i am it is all OVER...

tp ada certain things yang jadi, and we can't fix it..

a second that change evrything...

bila teringat, my heart skips a beat...

how i wish it didn't turn out that way...

tp pengalaman mengajar kita,kan?

pengalaman sentiasa berharga...

bukan semua org berpeluang utk memiliki pengalaman yg sama...

there r things that i can never forget

that will hunt me for quite some time

tapi apakan daya

aku hanya hambaNya

jadi, aku redha dgn takdirNya..

i believe everything happens for a reason...

Andai

2011-08-25T06:13:00.000+08:00

andai persahabatan kita seindah mimpi,

biarlah ia berkekalan ke akhir hayat...

17 Ramadhan

2011-08-17T23:53:00.001+08:00

"tough time don't last. tough people do..."

i don't know what is wrong with my life, but it seems not right. something is wrong somewhere. hope everything will be back to normal SOON...

Alhamdulillah...dah 17 hari berpuasa, menempuhi Ramadhan...

Tough Times

2011-08-15T05:54:00.002+08:00

Dah lama tak dapat soalan...

"Eh? Naza dah ok?"

Haha yeaaaa... So my family held a buka puasa last 2 days. So I ment my aunties, uncles, cousins... and some of them yang dah lama tak jumpa. They just know I was admitted in June, but takde the opputunity to meet after that. So the cousins who doesnt know, remain unknown... But those yang tau, semua surprised to see me okay. Yeah... I'm okay la, still on treatment, though... But not as worse as before. I was still one weekly checkup, until last 2 week the doctor said I can see him after 3 weeks time. That means next week I have to go for checkup.

(Didn't plan to write a long post)

The point is, everytime I got the question, I'll be... WOW sekejap... then "dah okay dah..." smiling happily...

Honestly, I never tot I'll be okay again. My vision was soooo blur! I can only see blurry colors, without knowing the exact shape. Caused partly by the medication, and the other part by the infection. I can't stand lights (photophobia). I was warded in a room that never switch on lights, except at night (itu pun bukak satu lampu hujung je), and the curtain is ALWAYS closed.

If anyone asked me what is your worst experience, I'll say about my eye infection. (well, so far).

Alhamdulillah, Allah grant my wish, to be normal again.

Dlm hidup ni, kita mesti kena lalui masa2 sukar. Semua orang pun akan ditimpa masalah. Tapi Allah beri kesusahan tu untuk uji kita. and for me, setiap kesusahan tu, pasti ada kesenangan...

Bak kata Ain... 'tough time dun last, tough ppl do'

Grand Canyon

2011-08-10T06:32:00.002+08:00

It's still fresh in my mind.

We were sitting at the top of grand canyon.

Just talking.

You and me.

As if there's nothing else matters.

As if there's no one else should we care about.
As if there's no problem in the world that we can't solve.

Just you and me.

Enjoying the view.

If its true that our soul will meet each other when we dream of each other,

I would only dream of you...

My Super Mommy!

2011-08-09T00:21:00.003+08:00

Dengan lafaz Bismillahirrahmanirrahim...

Mencabar sungguh Ramadhan kali ni. Everything is not at the best situation, I could say. Havoc! Havoc!!! And tiba-tiba rasa working is not the best decision i've made for this holiday. Mama is so damn busy babysitting Ikhwan. Sungguh, I sangat kesian, but there's nothing much I could do to help. Balek rumah from work, dah penat. I could only teman Mama at KakLong's house, help a little bit, then lepas berbuka, balik rumah and basuh kain. Honestly, diri ni terasa mcm takde time tuk diri sendiri, tapi can u imagine Mama lagi la tak cukup tangan...

She woke up super early utk prepare sahur for all of us. Then dah tak tidur dah. terus pergi rumah KakLong nak jaga Ikhwan. Then she'll stay there the whole day, will be back late evening. I tolong la masak utk berbuka ala kadar je. Tu hari biasa ye...

Kalau macam hari ni, KakLong on call, so lepas solat Subuh mama dah pergi rumah KakLong. by 630 AM kakLong dah keluar rumah. She'll stay there the whole day. Lepas kerja I balek pun, terus pergi rumah kakLong je. Watch the kids, pegangkan Ikhwan kejap so that Mama dapat rehat. Then I tolong bibik hidangkan makanan and kitorang berbuka together. I pity the kids, hari ni both Umi & Abah mereka on call, so diorang berbuka with us (Mama, Papa, me & Nuzul) aje la. AbangFattah had to berbuka in the hosp coz ade operation.

After berbuka and after the kids dah mandi and solat, baru lah I balik rumah utk bersihkan diri. Fuh! Kalau I penat, Mama mestiiii lagi penat. Wish I'm on holidays, x kerja... Tapi my contract is till 26th nanti. Hurmm~ I love working pon... Tapi I wanna help her out. She's a super mom and super granny! wish i could have energy as much as hers...

So after bersihkan diri, I'll go to KakLong's again to watch over the kids... teman mama, borak2 with her... Sometimes I had to go out to buy groceries or pampers or susu for the kids. Hehehe~

Papa pulak demam since last Thursday. Haihhh~ suruh pergi clinic tp degil...

Yeah, so life had been a bit hectic since last couple of weeks. Last weekend I had to accompany kakLong pergi shopping (she's still dlm pantang time tu). Sabar je la kan. She was so stress out that her boss did not agree on extending her medical leave. can u imagine hr ahad tu 40 hari, habis pantang, isnin tu dah start kerja. pity her... so over the weekend, its kind of a retail therapy la for her... and she needs new pair of shoes, so I teman kakLong pergi shopping. Also, we went to Parenthood Fair in MidValley, pergh! rmai org...

Then, me, my parents & nuzul sempat jugak kemas rumah pencala a bit, getting ready for Ikhwan's aqiqah this weekend. Yeah! Tell me! I'll be even more busy over the weekend. Good luck, Naza! Hehehe~ Starting tomorrow, every night kena pergi kemas rumah.

I can't wait for 26th. Yeah.. I'm sure I'll have plenty of time for myself. and KakLong will start her hols too, so give mama a rest before busy for hari Raya pulak. Heeee~

1st Weekend of Ramadhan

2011-08-07T23:24:00.003+08:00

Salam... How r u all doing? Hope everyone's fine. I had a pretty chaos week, but then Allah gave me family who can entertain me so well... Too bad KakLong was on call, she can't join us. It started when me and Nuzul rent VCDs & DVDs for the weekend. So we planned to watch it with the kids, Irham and Ilyana. Since KakLong was on call, so mama had to stay at kakLong's to watch over the baby, Ikhwan.

So we went shopping at Jaya Grocer before the movie session. me and Ilyana bought hotcup TomYam, Nuzul bought fruitella, and Irham bought Chipster.

Back at KakLong's house, Irham is busy preparing tickets. Heeee~ So Cute! we got GOLD CLASS! there's pillows, mattress and comforters ready for us. So COOL! then when the movie is about to start, we went into the kitchen and pretend to buy snacks for the movies. Of course Irham is the 'taukeh'! Heeeee~ (btw, I made hotcup for Ilyana and myself. Irham just sell it)

so we started with Lemonade Mouth, then Altitude. By the time, I fell asleep and when I realized, the kids are all sleepy, and they asked me whether they could stop and continue later.

"Yea yea.. Sure. Stop dulu, esok sambung.." Heeeeeee~

I'm so happy to be around them =)

Yang paling precious, pagi tu dapat sahur together. Cooked by mama, and dapat lauk favorite bln puasa, ikan bilis goreng masam manis. thanks, Mama... she came to me bawak tupperware tu, "Kakja, ni lauk special utk kakJa..." wahhhh! *terharu* first time jugak dapat bersahur with my nephew and niece... heeee~ tp tu la, still x complete coz KakLong was not arnd...

Thanks loves... Thank You Allah~

Friday

2011-07-30T01:29:00.002+08:00

Di pagi hari aku dikejutkan oleh sebuah panggilan dari jauh. Kedengaran telefon berdering lalu dengan kecanggihan teknologi kini, telefon aku membacakan nama yang terpapar dengan sendirinya.

'Miss Ain OZ' kedengaran. Pada mulanya aku fikirkan ia hanya mimpi. Namun, lama-kelamaan, realiti mengejutkan aku.

"Eh? Pukul berapa ni, Ain call? Mesti something wrong.."

Segera aku mendapatkan telefon, tetapi setelah aku menekan butan 'answer', talian sudah terputus. Aku termenung lama merenung telefon bimbitku. Memeriksa jam di telefon. 7:23 AM.

Terdetik rasa kurang senang. 'Jangan2, nenek Ain masuk hospital...' bisik hatiku.

Aku buang perasan ragu-ragu itu, kerana memikirkan diri ini yang cepat panik dan sering memikirkan perkara yang tidak elok sahaja. Aku segera mencapai tuala, ingin bersiram bagi memulakan hari yang baru. Setelah selesai membersihkan diri, aku melihat lampu di telefon menyala menandakan terdapat pesanan ataupun panggilan.

Kelihatan pula nama 'Nik Effa Syawan' terpapar di ruangan 'Missed Call'. Hatiku berdebar. Pasti ada kaitannya dengan panggilan Ain dari Newcastle, Australia sebelumnya. Segera aku menekan butang 'dial' kepada Effa. Bergetar hatiku dan segera aku bertanya, "Effa, kenapa???"

"Nik, nenek Ain meninggal"

"Innalillah... Aku dah agak something wrong. Tadi Ain call aku tak sempat angkat..."

Hati aku luluh. Mengenangkan Ain yang sangat rapat dengan 'Abai'. Ain pula kini jauh di perantauan menimba ilmu utk membantu hamba-hamba Allah di masa hadapan. Aku pasti dia sedang kesedihan dan kegelisahan.

Allahuakbar. Engkaulah pemilik seluruh alam, seluruh semesta. Daripada Engkau kami datang, dan kepada Engkau kami kembali. Sesungguhnya Allah Maha Adil. Apa sahaja yang terjadi adalah yang terbaik buat kita semua.

Takziah buat Ain dan keluarga.

Al-Fatihah.

Aku bangga dapat ketemu dengan Abai walau hanya beberapa kali. She's a nice person.

I Can't Be A Mom

2011-07-26T19:50:00.001+08:00

Okay! jgn slh fhm. bknnye xley pregnant or anything. nauzubillah...

But, I realized that I takde ciri-ciri ibu yg baik. I senang hilang sabar. I tak suke budak merengek-rengek...

AAAAAAAAA!!! Ya Allah, berilah aku kekuatan menghadapi pelbagai ragam nephews and niece aku niiii... *gulp*

Because of You

2011-07-25T01:06:00.002+08:00

Too much I wanna say, but there's no word could describe how I feel right now.

Too much I wanna tell, but all I can think of is questions for myself.

Cause there's too much pain, from the frustration I gained.

There's too much regrets, for the better world you promised.

"The world I shall sacrifice" is a piece of shit.

And there's too much wound you left unhealed.

5 Facts - Current

2011-07-20T23:18:00.002+08:00

1. I wanna give up on my treatment. Stress every week kena pergi hospital yang kena tunggu lama, lepastu kena beratur ambik ubat pulak. and balik rumah evryone tanya "what the doc say?" and I can juz answer, "they din say anything. they juz change my meds, and tambah meds, and suruh datang lagi next week". TENSIONNYA!

2. I just wanna ignore you, ok? Enough is enough.

3. I can't sleep early, sebab tak boleh lena. Bila bangun pagi, I have this feeling nak text my boss, cakap I'm on medical leave. Ahhhhh! But I still go to work.

4. Malas nak letak eyedrops and ointment. GRRRRRRRR! ade eyedrops every hour again pulak tu! EEEEEEE!!!

5. Everytime kena pujuk hati sendiri.5 F

2011-07-19T19:04:00.001+08:00

Even though I've stopped "liking you" every time someone mentions your name my head turns towards them. It's like every time I hear it, I think of what we had, and all we could have had.

Ikhlas?

2011-07-16T00:04:00.002+08:00

Jujur.

Aku tanya pada diri sendiri.

Ikhlas kah aku?

Rainbow

2011-07-13T00:08:00.002+08:00

Life.

Sometime we're above.

The other times, we're below.

I'm scared of whats happening now.

But I'm pretty sure things will get better.

Soon enough.

Coz life isn't sux all the time.

There's always rainbow after the rain.

There's always light at the end of a tunnel.

I believe Allah tested me with all sort of things.

And everything will be okay.

As long as I keep on trying.

To open the doors to better opportunity.

To not let the shits get on me.

Coz I know Allah will always be in my heart.

He is my strength and the reason I fight.

Allah the Almighty!

He knows best.

Spoil my Mood

2011-07-11T19:01:00.002+08:00

Spoil btul mood, bila balik rumah, nak cari a bit of ketenangan...

my niece is crying like crazy in my room. Sumpah malas nak layan, so I closed the door instead, to reduce the noise in the living room. Let her CRYYYYY all she wants...

Kacau mood.

And bila dah hilang sabar, I tak kasi my mom pujuk die, coz she's being ridiculously RIDICULOUS! tapi mama dengan baik hati insisted nak pujuk jugak. (saba je) Mama will never pujuk kitorang kalau nangis2 mase kecik dlu. Mama akan lagi marah and kurung dalam toilet ke, campak kitorang ke luar rumah ke.. Hahahah~ Mama is being Mama lah kan! Mom is always like that. If my sis tengok anak dia nangis camtu, she won't entertain either. She'll shout at her impatiently. SCARYYY~ heheheh...

tuh la beza nya being a mom and a grandma...

So, memang kacau mood...

Serabut

2011-07-11T18:52:00.003+08:00

Too many things in my head...

I don't know which is my priority...

Everything is soooo crowded...

I can't think straight...

Me Want...

2011-07-10T21:45:00.001+08:00

Me want new gadget!!! Pls pls pls???

Ipad 2? - NO.

Apa yang best yea?

Eye-ing on new laptop. Heeheehee~

Syukur

2011-07-03T03:21:00.002+08:00

Bersyukur bila dapat nikmat tidur, ye...

Sekarang dah start balek musim 'tak boleh tidur' I... Ya Allah... susah sangat nak tidur. Even if I sleep, my mind keep on working, then nanti dapat la ilham tiba2. mahaha~ then bila sedar dah pagi, belum sempat merehatkan diri pun. End up kepenatan yang amat sangat di siang hari. (sampai tertidur dekat rumah Sha tadi) And exhaustion make me go angryyyy~ HEEEE~

Now is 3:23 AM in the morning, and I still can't sleep. Bak kata papa, "tidur pun rezeki taw!" wah! kalau takde rezeki tidur tu, memang lah susah...

Tapi, bersyukur lah dengan rezeki lain yang Allah berikan...

Seperti kipas baru yang I dapat. Hahahah~ Punya lah lama I tunggu nak dapat kipas baru. The old one dah rosak lame dah. i think almost a year. so I had to use aircond je... kononnya, papa kate tu training tuk pegi aussie. mahahah~ yeah rite, pa... then, the day sha & effa fly to aussie, papa bought me new ceiling fan. it cost him quite a lot la. Thank u so much, Papa... now kipas I ade remote. nak kuat ke, perlahan ke, tekan je. remote plak I akan letak atas katil, so senang. nak bukak lampu or tutup lampu pun dengan remote. Hehehe~ easier for me. sometimes I woke up 4 in the morning, tak payah meraba-raba nak cr switch lampu. Heeee~

Syukur! Alhamdulillah! Rezeki kan tu?

Mood Swing

2011-07-02T01:32:00.002+08:00

What happen to me??? Since sakit, I'm feeling like I'm not being myself.

Cepat marah.

Cepat kecik hati.

Sensitive.

Selfish.

Can't think straight.

Emotional.

Cepat nak nangis.

This is not me! I wanna be Nikki yg always happy!

=))

Full Stop

2011-06-28T23:34:00.001+08:00

Saya pernah kecewa

Harap tidak mengecewakan

&

Tidak dikecewakan

Noktah.

Kan kan kan?

2011-06-24T20:49:00.001+08:00

I'm strong...
Kan kan kan?

I can go through all this...
Kan kan kan?

I boleh bertahan...
Kan kan kan?

I won't cry...
Kan kan kan?

=)

Ya Rabb, please strenghten my Iman and my heart...

Insiden Hari Ini

2011-06-19T22:02:00.002+08:00

Insiden 1...

AbangYong: Yang.. Ambik la hadiah2 tu...
KakAyu: Oh. Nak kasi now?
AbangYong: (angguk-angguk)

Lalu KakAyu segera mendapatkan beg-beg plastik yang dibawanya dan dihulurkan kepada AbangYong. AbangYong mengagihkan souvenirs yang dibeli di Langkawi pada hujung minggu lepas. Mereka ke sana bersempena dengan UlangTahun pertama mereka pada 12 June.

AbangYong: Haaaa... Ni Naza punya. Naza punya special, besar sikit, sebab tak pergi Aussie.
Me: (tersengih) Thanks =)

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Insiden 2...

AbangFattah: Pedih la mata swimming tadi.

Lalu seluruh keluarga kami tergelak.

Me: HAHA! Infection! Infection!
AbangYong: Ha, tu la. haritu gelakkan Naza sangat...
Me: Ha'ah! Tiap2 hari pergi ward Naza, dia gelakkan...
Papa: Masuk ward! Masuk ward!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Insiden 3...

KakAyu: Naza, next year kita pergi buat diving license sama-sama, ok?
Me: YEAY!!!
Nuzul: Nak ikut! Adik boleh tak? Nanti mase tu dah form 4.
AbangYong: Dia takde age limit. Nana pun boleh pergi. Tapi, tong gas lagi besar dr Nana.

HAHAHA

Papa: Nak gi mana? Langkawi boleh ke?
AbangYong: Boleh, tapi Langkawi takde ape sangat.
Me: Perhentian la?
Nuzul: Alamak! Perhentian tak nak la. (oleh kerana insiden batu karang masuk kaki)
KakAyu: Sipadan?
Papa: Book la tiket awal2, boleh yang murah...
Me: Tak payah la planning awal2, nanti burn je...

And everybody laughed. Heehee~ (learned from my lesson)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hehehe~ Eventhough my ultimate plan of holidaying in Aussie kena postpone, but I had fun spending time with my family.

Semalam pun, pagi keluar dengan Mama Papa Nuzul. Then, tengahari pergi wedding AbangDe Amin (Ilham's Bro)... Balik rumah kejap, then pergi shopping with KakAyu and AbangYong at Pavillion. Balik around 1030 PM.

So I tak la boring sangat. Korg yang berada nun di sana jangan risau bout me, okay. I'm fine, InsyaAllah... I know my family is trying so hard tak nak kasi I terasa bout not going to Aussie this year. Hehehe~

But, I really miss you gurls. Cepat2 pulang and we can gather like always <3 <3 <3

Wishing Ilham all the best in finishing her assignments! One more week, and you're done, dear! You can do it! =D

Happy Papa Day!

2011-06-19T12:44:00.002+08:00

PAPA!!!!!! (shouting out loud)

HAPPY FATHER's DAY!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU LOADS, PAPA!!!

Hehehe~

So yeah, I didn't do anything for him this year. Nak cari prezen pun tak sempat. And besides, tak tau nak kasi ape. Hehehe~ And haritu mase Mother's Day pun tak bwt pape, so fair & square la. HAHAHA~ I just wished them...

If you read this, Pa... (coz I know u've googled my name, and I'm sure u already found my blog) *sigh*

I just wanna let you know that I love you so much.
I couldn't imagine my life without you.
Every time I heard news bout anybody's dad passed away, I cried coz I'm afraid of the day will come to me.
Even we always argue in MANY MANY things, but you've did a good job.
You thought me that nothing can't be solved. Everything must have the solution.
You thought me to be tough and ignorant to things that are unnecessary.
You thought me to be quick & fast & punctual. (dlu papa slu ckp I 'slowcoach')
You thought me to be professional between work and personal.
You thought me to be happy alllll the time.
You thought me how to deal with people around me.
(org maxis ke, org astro ke, nak tawar2 barang ke... hehehe)
You gave me everything I want.
You always support me (even you didn't show it).
You thought me how important reading is. No matter whatever it is, we must read and gain knowledge, even on brochures and pamplets.
You brought me to many different states to make my life full of experience (especially cari makan).

You thought me a lot. You did a lot. I have no right to list it all, coz it's priceless and cannot be counted.

Papa, I'm trying my best to finish my studies as soon as possible and get a job so you didn't have to work anymore. I love you papa. Before, Now & Always. May Allah Bless You...

<3 <3 <3

Perhaps

2011-06-16T20:14:00.003+08:00

Rasulullah SAW bersabda yang bermaksud: “Demi Allah yang jiwaku di tangannya! Tidak Allah memutuskan sesuatu ketentuan bagi seorang mukmin melainkan ada kebaikan baginya dan tiada kebaikan itu kecuali bagi mukmin jika memperoleh kegembiraan, dia berterima kasih bererti kebaikan baginya. Jika ditimpa kesulitan dia bersabar bererti kebaikan baginya.”

Few months back, or shud I say, a year ago... I'm SO eager for tomorrow. But now, I just wanna sleep, dun wanna wake up till it's 930PM.

Hehehe~

Perhaps, next time.

Nak

2011-06-15T23:00:00.001+08:00

Lama tak pegang camera.

Wanna go out and take pictures..............

Anyone?

Nak pergi Taman Rama-Rama

=D

Nope

2011-06-15T10:08:00.003+08:00

The doc said its unpredictable. If anything happens, its really hard to see oftal (doc mata la) over there.. not to say the cost of it...

It is frustrating. I was hoping there's a way...

I've been planning this since YEARS ago...

Tickets - ready. visa - ready. credit card - ready.
Just picked up my credit card that AbangYong applied for me. It make me sad. I got everything, but just because of my right eye, I can't go...

Besar ujian Allah terhadap saya. Dengan sekelip mata Dia tarik nikmat yang saya ada. SubhanAllah. Allah Maha Berkuasa menentukan segalanya. I know sakit ni takde ape pun. It is just a reason for Allah to not let me go. Saya redha...

I've been so excited coz I bought the tickets already. tot with the tickets in my hand, there's nothing can stop me from going... It's not easy for me to get permission from my parents to go anywhere. But they did not stop me from this trip. I can't even travel out of KL Selangor without them...

I know I can go next time, but I really wanna travel with my besties...
Sha... Effa... Ain... and Jehan...

If I go next year, Jehan won't be there anymore. And surely Effa n Sha won't come with me. The trip will be different. We got everything planned. Me and Sha already made budget plan for this trip. I was so excited googling the places that we wanna go.

And I'll be damn bored for 12 days while Sha n Effa is not around...

I'm sick and membosankan. I know. Look at my posts. It's all about my sickness. Haha. Shud stop. Adios.

8 Hari, 7 Malam

2011-06-14T17:47:00.004+08:00

my first ever experience admitted into hospital. huhuhu~

ni mase first day I admit, effa, sha and eric came to visit. thanks korg...

Selama 8 hari dekat hospital, thank you won't be enuf to all my family and friends who have been so concern bout me. Alhamdulillah, i'm getting better. the doctor is expecting me to be fully recover in about 6 months time. WOW, kan? hahah~ I nak sembuh cepat. AMIN~

currently juz lazing around at home coz my mom din allow me to go anywhere. d doc gave me MC till Friday... *sigh* so bored... and depress... huhuhu~

tomorrow gotta go to d hosp again for checkups. hope to get better news, please?

i'm still considering for d trip which will start this Friday... huhu~ how? how? how? *in dilemma*

Discharge

2011-06-13T10:31:00.001+08:00

YEay!

(singing happily)
I'm coming home!
I'm coming home!

Alhamdulillahhhh~ hari ni dah boleh balik rumah!

But still on drops hourly...

Takpe, asalkan boleh duk rumah, boleh keluar lihat dunia,,,

and I wanna go to work! Tapi doc kasi MC sampai Jumaat :(

7th Day

2011-06-12T14:27:00.003+08:00

Still here! I wanna go homeeeee!!!!!

Semalam birthday Effa. :(

Sedih tak dapat celebrate on her day. Saya hutang ya, Effa?

Happy Birthday Effa Syawan!!!! May Allah bless you always, and get all the happiness...

Hari ni hari ke-7. Harap2 esok dah boleh keluar, please? Harap ubat dah boleh reduce. Harap dapat ikut trip tu semula. Huhuh~

Saya hanya berharap. But not too high, though. Saya redha...

The doc said... "It looks just about the same..."

Tiap2 hari dapat ayat sama :(

Happy Anniversary AbangYong & KakAyu ! ! ! I still remember his BIG BIG SMILE exactly a year ago... He's so cool, and excited! Heheheh~ Love u, bro!

6th Day

2011-06-11T14:38:00.003+08:00

Dah enam hari saya menetap di sini.

Ahhhh~ I miss home! I miss the kids (bdk2 xley masuk visit)

Whatever it is, I redha dengan ketentuan Illahi...

The worst is... I had to bail out from d trip with Sharizad. She'll be going with Effa, instead.

I guess ni bukan rezeki I lagi. It's okay. Papa Mama kata, dah sihat nanti boleh pergi.

InsyaAllah~

He must have better plans for me.

The good thing is, I boleh tengok kakLong bersalin on the 21st... Boleh bersama keluarga on the big day. Boleh main dengan baby, boleh usik kakLong. Heheheh~

We can't have everything we want, right?

But perhaps I'll be there soon, Ain. just not next week... =D

No Exception

2011-06-06T15:50:00.001+08:00

OooOooOoo...

Ingatkan dah terlepas daripada kena admit into hosp last 2 weeks...

Too bad...

Terkena jugak hari ni...

Nak cepat2 baik, nak balik rumah, nak jalan2, nak pergi trip with Sharizad! Hueeee~

Amin~ Amin~

JUNE

2011-06-02T14:27:00.003+08:00

June has always been a 'drama'. Huuuuuu~ and this year also, I am SOOOO excited utk bertemu bulan yang boleh dikatakan pertengahan tahun la. JUNE! What's up with this month, this year?

1. 11th June: My bestie's burfday. Effa Teapot!!! She got early bday prezen oredi! Oh, I'm so excited.

2. 12th June: AbgYong's 1st Anni with Kak AnnaRahayu. Love is in the air. Wish them happy till anak cucu cicit hingga akhir hayat. And... a friend's birthday also on this day. Luqman. May you have all the happiness and wonderful years ahead...

3. 17th June: A trip with Sharizad! Huyeay! We've been planning this for a year already. Hope everything will went well, InsyaAllah...

4. 21st June: KakLong will deliver her 4th child in Pantai MC. Wuhuu~ All the best, KakLong! Another anak sedara to me! I'm makcik again! Hehehe~

5. InsyaAllah by the end of June will held Aqiqah for the new born. I'll definitely will be in love with him! I'll be so very busy helping out with the Aqiqah.

6. 31st June: Burfday Azim & Faizzule! Azim, pls bwt party so skali ng gathering. TQ! HEeheheh~

PhotoPhobia

2011-05-29T22:33:00.000+08:00

Bukan phobia nk amik gmbr. This is what happen bila mata kena acanthamoeba keratitis, then tah tahan cahaya (photophobia). Terpaksa pakai shades to my couz's engagement.

Congratz, KakTas.. semoga kawin cepat! :D

Nervous

2011-05-27T23:48:00.002+08:00

Hati I tenang tuk sehari. Sebab hari ni tak kena gi check up. Tapi, tak la tenang sangat, sebab panic kena check up esok. Since 2 days ago, I'm having a very bad pain on my neck. SerioussssLY sakitttt!!! Especially semalam, till I nak gelak or batuk pun sakit. Oh! Lagi bes, mase tidur, den I tersedar, even nak telan air liur pun sakit. Then, even dah baring diam2, terasa berdenyut-denyut urat kat leher. Fuhhhhhh~ Sakit itu, hanya Allah yang tahu...

I really tot it'll get worse, then pagi nanti sure tak boleh gerak memane dah. Tapi, Alhamdulillah, around 8AM I bangun, takde la sampai tak boleh gerak langsung. Nak pusing kepala memang sakit la, tapi I kuatkan diri.

I really hope this pain takde kena mengena dengan eye infection that I'm having. Please Please Please...

And everytime mengadu dekat AbangFattah... "Awak ni kena masuk wad laaaaaa" AAAA! Buat I lagi tension. Then petang tadi, after balik kerja, pergi lah berbincang dengan AbangFattah. Then he said... "Kalau dah sampai external mcm ni, kena masuk wad dah la.." dengan nada serius. Selalunya dia main-main je. external = eye infection, tp sakit tempat lain dah pulak.

Pray hard. I nak cepat sembuh. I wanna be able to attend cousin's engagement this Sunday.

PLEASE

Doakan saya cepat sembuh. and doakan checkup esok berjalan dengan elok...

*now boleh lepak2 menaip depan laptop sbb makan panadol* HAHA~

Progress

2011-05-25T10:45:00.002+08:00

Yeah.

I'm still home. Hehe.

Tak kena admit.

But I still have to go for daily check up.

Kena line up with patients yang admitted.

I ni exception je la.

Huahua.

Semalam doc said ade improvement.

Hari ni d usual doc is not around.

So doc lain yang check.

He add on another medication.

Erk?

Tak boleh g kerja lagi la...

Review

2011-05-24T06:56:00.002+08:00

Doakan saya...

Kejap lagi nak gi hosp for daily review.

Doc said, if it gets worse, than I have to be admitted.

Semalam mintak AbgFattah teman.

Don't know whether he'll be there.

Tapi dia kata ward sama.

Dia pun akan round dekat ward pagi2.

Tiba-tiba rasa menyesal pulak,

ajak abangFattah teman.

Dia sure bising2 suruh admit.

Erkkkkkk~

I just pray for the best...

Almost

2011-05-23T19:56:00.002+08:00

Hari ni second time pegi klinik pakar, hosp sg buloh.

Las week dah pergi. Doc kasi ubat, but seems doesnt work...

So I called d doctor... She asked me to come right away.

Terpaksa abandoned semua kerja kat office.

Setelah 2 jam menanti, she checked...

Doctor lain pulak check...

Nak confirmation, sorg lagi check.

And yeap!

She wants me to be admitted

ERK! NO!

So, she gave me another option.

Kena pergi ward every morning.

Okay! Fine! I redha...

Ni ujian Tuhan.

Biasa lah hidup ada naik ada turun...

Syukur masih terlepas drp kne admit.

Dlu pernah almost kena admit jgk sbb vomit non stop.

Huuuu~

Sila jaga kesihatan anda semua.

Harap maklum.

Things Won't Be the Same

2011-05-17T00:15:00.002+08:00

After what happen tonight.
I know things won't be the same.

It'll be awkward.

I didn't expect this to happen.

I'm sorry.

Apart of it, it's my fault.

Shudn't have tried to gather us all.

It was fun.
It was good.

I'm still happy

For wtvr happened dat evening

Until you said...
'ending up juz like this'

I know

Things won't be the same.

Suicide Attempt

2011-05-15T02:12:00.002+08:00

BREATH! BREATH! BREATH! OKay! I'm so trying to calm myself down!!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (wish I cud shout in the middle of d night)

OH! I already did! Few times...

Really wish mama is here!

CALM DOWN! CALM DOWN!

Another reason bwt I menggigil hari ni...

I HATE FISH!!!! HATE ! ! ! HATE ! ! !

That stupid fish........ OWH! It's so damn stupid! suicide attempt! SERIOUSLY! MMg Berani MATI! ARGH!!!

That bloody stupid fish jump out of its aquarium. Idiot! This is not FINDING NEMO. stupid!!!

Urgh! I tengah nak jemur kain, then it jumped, memercik air banyak gile. till kena sofa, kena laptop mama, kena mcm2 la.. den i tot it would stop, but it didn't... I think 3 times it jumped and percikkan air keluar. Itu pon I dah menjerit coz terkejut. The aquarium is just beside me.

The fourth time it jumped, it went out the aquarium, and menggelepar. I FREAKED OUT! and jerit2 mintak Nuzul tolong! Waaaaaaaaaaa~ Freaking scary weyyyyy!!! Felt like sumone jump off a building! AAAAAAAAAA~~~~~~ *tsk*tsk*

So adik quickly took its net to pick it up. lame la jgk he tried coz d fish menggelepar. Nuzul pon takot. KESIAN NUZUL! he was scared too.. then bila dah berjaya masuk dalam net, stuck pulak. tuh la, ikan tu mkn byk sgt, besar dr yg ktrg expect. urgh! i hate it! den tak boleh nak keluarkan. then i tot, if msokkan dlm aquarium, im affraid it'll jump off again. so i fill a 'baldi' with water (half) den masukkan d fish. still, stuck dekat the net..

so i terpakse ambik senduk dr dapur and tolak2 badan dia supaya boleh keluar dr net tu. after a while, after few times giving up, nak biarkn die je cmtu, coz die da cm x gerak, we tot its dead. den ble terdgr die gerak, we tried again, and finally nuzul berjaya.

WARGH! WHAT A NIGHT! I HATE FISH, OBVIOUSLY!

Okay

2011-05-11T21:29:00.003+08:00

Fuh! lame betul tak update blog...

Reason?

Busy...

Balik kerja just nak lepak je...

Malas nak fikir...

Banyak kali I bukak blog ni. Tapi bila nak tekan 'New Post' tu, mcm pending je. Tak tau nak tulis ape. Tak tau nak bercerita apa...

Currently planning on a small gathering with my close friends. Alang2 semua dah habis exam, mari lah kita lepak like we used to! Seronoknya! I can't wait, tapi tak berharap juga. Almaklumlah semua pun ada hal masing2... I dun wanna get too excited coz tkot nnt cancel, sendiri yang frust. hahahahha~

But I seriously miss them! Where I can always be myself. xya cover2. rindu!

A month + + to go before d ultimate trip! wehuuuuu~

Heart Attack

2011-05-03T23:26:00.002+08:00

Mula-mula cool...

Bila fikir whatever the result is...

Life must go on...

Semua yang jadi mesti ada hikmah...

Tapi bila fikir...

If ade 'D' appear in my results...

Tomorrow...

That means I have to study the same subject...

All over again...

And that means I can't grad from UIA

In a year...

Kena extend another sem...

HEART ATTACK!

Seriously...

I nak tolong mama papa...

It's killing me inside...

Whenever he said, "Papa dah tak larat nak kerja"

Even I bukan anak sulong

But I rasa banyak responsibility...

Oh my God, Allah SWT...

Please strengthen my heart...

Please give me good results...

I just wanna pass every subject...

And grad next year...

AMIN~

Current Addiction

2011-04-25T18:29:00.002+08:00

ouh! ive been addicted to this TV series since a month ago. hehehe. start dr season 1, and now currently watching season 3.

hueeeeeeee~

Kerja Kerja

2011-04-23T22:57:00.002+08:00

It has been 2 weeks berkerja di Kumpulan Mofaz Sdn Bhd sebagai pembantu sumber manusia (HR ass!) MAHAHAH~

basically, saya naik turun gi office bawah.. den naik atas semula.. settle little things mcm order printer ink ke, photostat2 ke, check medical cards ke, handle games every Friday, that sort of things. heheheh..

so far... i had fun! akak2 kat situ semua best. Alhamdulillah for now. what important is the experience I gain. Mama selalu tanya, "Hows work? OK ke? Awk kena buat ape?"

So I said, "naik turun tangga hantar cheque, ambik cheque.. prepare medical cards, key-in datas and all, benda kecik2 je la.."

Mama cm risau, "Diorang buli awak ke?"

and I said.. "Takde la buli pon.. diorang suruh buat kerja la. KakJa okay je. Drp dok diam boring la.."

Den Papa menyampok.. "Biase la keje org bawahan, kena la buli sikit. Tak nak kena buli jadi boss la.."

Then I said,"Memang la. kakja tak kisah pun. experience la. kena jadi orang bawah dulu baru boleh jadi boss.."

Papa macam marah I pulak..."Tau pon. Then terima je la.."

"Memang la KakJa tawu! I don't even complain. KakJa juz cerita dekat Mama kakJa buat ape dkt office..."

Huuuuuuu~ tak pasal2 kena marah ngan Papa. it was hard at first. honestly, I tak biase jadi orang bawah. your ideas being rejected, then kena arah mcm tu. wuuuuuu~ sungguh, saya terkejut juga mula2 tu. tapi bila fkir balek, isn't this that I want? to experience working life. mesti la ade boss, mesti la disuruh buat itu ini... so yeah... I'm glad that I actually ade kerja! Yes! InsyaAllah I won't complain. So far, diorang sume layan I dengan baik.

Thank You Allah...

2011-04-22T23:43:00.001+08:00

It hurts... and nobody knows... nobody cares to lend a hand...

First Day in Office

2011-04-11T19:26:00.002+08:00

First was not bad at all.. I kinda had fun working in HR Department... Huehue~ What I did today? Basically hari ni banyak tolong Effa je. Tolong dia failkan all the resumes and CV from JobFair few weeks ago. Omygosh! Sumpah banyak gileeee... Ade la 5 file kitorang masokkan. file yg tebal, ok! itupon ade lg yg blom masok. Hoho~ Then tolong Effa sort out the insurances yang nak release to all staff kt Mofaz.. Kena makesure semua card dah ade, kena photostat and bla bla bla... I was just helping them around la... Ala2 mcm officegirl. Photostat, stapler2, punch2, susun file, hantar surat ambik surat dr tingkat bwh, office sebelah and etc...

Heheh! I like! Takde la bosan. Bila once in a while Effa busy, then I dah tak tau nak wat ape, mati akal jgk la. Duk kat meja tenung kertas tah pape, bwt2 cm bace. Hahahah~ I feel so awkward!

Wuhuuuu~ now da boleh cakap... "Kat office ni.." or... "I'm working tomorrow" Hahaha~

News Flash

2011-04-08T13:38:00.002+08:00

I got a job! I'm employed! I am included in the labor market. (too much of econs?)

Hahah!

So yeah... yesterday I went to an interview in Honda Mofaz Service Center. So near to my house. I guess around 2 km only. Heheh. Even my dad said I could just walk. But no way! I had to kinda cross a highway. Way toooo scary...

The interview was... normal, I guess. It's my first job interview, and when I looked back, yeah, I did few mistakes here and there. confidence level very low, so shy, unprepared. yeah! note on that if there'll be other interviews next time, naza! Heheh. I wasn't really ready. They called 2 days ago, and actually ask me to come right away that evening. But I couldn't coz I was in UIA. So the interview was postponed till yesterday. I just google a bit bout Mofaz, and that is it. I did not practice how to talk or what I should say if expected questions came up. So that explains how awkward I was yesterday. A lesson to learn...

Just to share with you guys... It wasn't really a REAL job interview though, but I guess these questions are standard...

Tell me about yourself...
Are you okay working with details? (kerja yg remeh-temeh la. check sane sini, every single thing)
Will you be under pressure if I come up and give you work that you have to do right away?
What is you future plan? After you graduate... (in my case, I haven't graduated)
What kind of industry you would like to involve in?
Do you have any doubt or questions you would like to ask? (I have no IDEA what I should ask)
Your expected income?

In my case, I don't really demand in any kind of job. I know that I'm an undergraduate, so I don't mind doing anything (jangan la buli sangat)... I just want to have a bit of working experience, to prepare myself in the future. This is honest. Hehe... I should say that in the interview, right? But I didn't. Hahah! I was too scared. Haiyoh~

And even the salary is... OKAY2 je la.. Hahah! Takpe, bak kata Papa, "experience tu yang penting. Okay la tu.." yeah! true... I don't mind... (nak sedapkan hati sendiri. hehe) I'll be working under HR management. doing filing and key in data sort of thing. I'm kinda excited! will be start working on Monday! Right after my last exam on Sunday. gile tak? and akan kerja till raya. heeeee~

Zombie

2011-04-04T12:36:00.002+08:00

I feel like a zombie. Ahad... tidur pkul 3 pagi, bangun pkul 6 pagi... Siap2 pergi exam, kul 8 dah tercongok kt depan CAC Exam starts at 9... Habis pkul 1130... Tak ckup masa nak mencurahkan sume isi dalam kepala otak... Takpe lah, tawakal... Balik rumah and relax... Pukul 2 tidur sampai pukul 5... I seriously need a sleep coz the next day ade paper lagi... Malam study till 3 AM, then I need to sleep a bit... And I failed... Mata dah sangat2 berat tak boleh bukak... But my mind keep on running... Till 6 AM, my mom woke me up... I feel so exhausted... But I had to get over it... Siap2 and pergi exam... As usual, pkul 8 dah tercongok depan CAC... Exam start at 9, and I ended it on my own will at 1045... Supposedly it ends at 1130... Hahah! Malas nak duduk menatap kertas exam. I did whatever I know, recheck, and done! I need to sleep. Good night. Next exam. Wednesday! Study of religions... Judaism & Christianity. Lots to read up

It's April

2011-04-02T01:01:00.003+08:00

I just realize that it's 2nd of april already...

For the first time in my life, my lil bro didn't do any prank on me on 'April Fool'...

Okay, fine. It's not a tradition though. Just that we used to had fun pranking people. I remembered few years back, we lied to Papa that Satria kena curi! Hahahah. Papa was furious coz Hilux bru je kena curi mase tu. So he was like... "Ha???? Satria pun orang nak curi??? Teruk lahhh~" (in Kelantanese dialect, of course) Heheheheh~ Then we cracked out laughing so loud. Heee~ He actually believed us.

As for yesterday, I guess Nuzul was busy preparing to go for camping over the weekend. So yeah, another weekend without him. Konon-kononnya, I said... "Yeay! Adik takde kat rumah. So kakJa boleh conquer TV, desktop n d living room! Yess!!!" but deep inside... "Damn! weekend will be boring without Nuzul. No outings, for sure" Ala! even if Nuzul ade pon, I'm in exam week. Our outing is limited to makan-makan ONLY. which itu pun Papa dah warning us to eat at home aje coz he said we wasted so much time going out for dinner, he wanted us to study at night. I can't even start study till late night. (it's already 1AM and I was just about to start studying after taking an hour break)

So back to the story. Nuzul mesti excited nak gi camping, so he didn't even remembered it was april fool, or he doesn't have time to think of pranking me this year. fine2. but it was sad, though. NOT bcoz i didn't get any april fool, but because I just realize my lil bro is not LITTLE anymore. He grew up! I grew up.. Things are different now. He's busy with school activities, and he's always not home.

Now I know how he felt when I was busy with school. Heheh! I'm WORSE than him. I won't be home till late evening. I went to library, I had marching training, I had tuition and hangout with friends A LOT! He doesn't go out that much, though. But he is active in Co-cu, which my dad did not allow me to go, when i was in high school. When I questioned my dad, he said because Nuzul is a guy, and I'm a girl, so he was worried bout my safety. A guy must be tough. I know Papa is trying to train him to be a responsible person... I can't go camping, I can't go on trips... But yeah, I supported Nuzul a lot la. I don't want him to be like me. I want him to go out and experience everything. I always back him up whenever he wanted to go to campings or trips. And my parents always ask for my opinion. My usual answer... "Bagi je la dia pergi.. Okay je.." Hehehe~ How lucky is my lil bro to have a sis like me, eyh?

I wish my KakLong or AbangYong did that too, back then... But they were not at home. So I kind of take care of myself. My parents were busy looking out for their youngest child, and I have to be independent...

Final Exam 3rd Year First Sem

2011-04-01T17:05:00.002+08:00

Wouhuuu~ been a while since my last post, eh?

So? How do you do?

How are you today?

Enough sleep?

Me? Too much of it! Damn! Should study more, less sleep, pls? So next week, well, starting this Sunday, it gonna be a tough week...

Sunday - Islamic Banking and Finance

Monday - Fiqh for Economists III

Wednesday - Study of Religions

Saturday - Corporate Finance

Sunday - Econometrics

The last two papers are tough ones. Huuuu~ wish me luck!

Oh. sorry for posting bout examsss all the time. Coz its in my head ALL the time.

Nak motivate diri sendiri "Takpe! Seminggu je! Then I'll be holidaying for 5 months, and I soooooooo can't wait for the ultimate trip!!! weeeeeee~"

Hari Sukan

2011-03-30T00:21:00.003+08:00

Sekarang kan musim hari sukan sekolah. then tadi a fren said.. "klaka tgk hari sukan budak2 tu.." coz kt uia tu byk ar bdk2 skola wt hari sukan kat stadium ktrg...

sepantas kilat!

teringat our last sports day mase kt SMKTTDI! Yeah! I'm proud to be one of ttdians.

disitu saye mengenal erti persahabatan, erti pengorbanan, erti kasih sayang...

dsitu terukir kenangan terindah... (kalau dgr lagu 'kenangan terindah' ni mesti nangis. haha)

kenangan yang I takkan lupa sampai bila2...

well, hari sukan takde la bes mane pon. malas je sebenarnye...

tapi bila ingat balek, it was GREAT!

happy tak terkira...

time tu boleh usha semua org!

time tu ley lepak satu gang!

sebab kitorang kelas lain2

time tu camwhoring

wehuuu~

and gambar I dengan mereka masih terpampang di bilik UIA. Heee~

rindunya!

time tu semua masalah pun hilang!

heheks~

seronok!

dan hari sukan jugak menjadi saksi kepada sebuah persahabatan yang telah terputus...

hari tu, while tunggu nak berarak, dia panggil I... sebabkan dia pakai shades, so I toleh ke arah lain... tak bes tengok reflection diri sendiri... time tu dia tanya.. "handsome tak aku?" and mcam biase la I ego tak nak mengaku.. huhuh!

hari tu jgk dia cari I a few times, dia tanya kat kawan2 I... then end up dia just kirimkan sekeping kertas yang dia jumpe kat mne tah! and atas kertas tu ade 'NIKKI'... yg I pun dah tak ingat letak mane. hahahah~ but for me it was sweet... semangat je dia potong and simpan to give it to me...

hari tu I dapat rasa dia sayang I (as kawan ye!)... I tawu he cares bout me!

heheheh... tapi kenangan hanya tinggal kenangan... even kitorang dah jarang contact, jarang cakap, jarang jumpa, i'll always keep you in my prayers, darl!

Esok First Paper

2011-03-28T19:40:00.002+08:00

Esok hari ape? Esok hari selasa. bermakna hari pertama final exam I! first paper!!! biase la, first paper nervous dia lain macam skit. and I rase mcm ilmu belum cukup di dada. cuakness~ mane pernah cukup. takkan pernah cukup. sky is d limit, man!

So.. dengan ini... saya ingin memohon ribuan ampun kepada semua. doakan lah saya dapat jawab dengan tenang dan tepat. semoga Allah berkati ilmu yang telah saya pelajari, secara langsung dan tidak langsung...

InsyaAllah, Allah will guide us. Have some faith...

I dah usaha sedaya upaya. Berhari-hari menatap buku macroeconomics. Serious, bila hari ni menjelma, rasa macam dah tak larat nak tenung tulisan-tulisan I yang agak comel-comel belaka. mahaha~ takpe... masa masih ada. insyaAllah malam ni kalau boleh nak tidur awal. siapkan mental dan fizikal utk esok. lepas paper esok, tak boleh enjoy lagi. ade beberapa hari untuk 5 paper yang agak tak banyak gap. so kena ready awal2...

To all my unimates, all the best, peepz! May Allah bless us. Let's do our best...

Tanya Sama Pokok

2011-03-26T02:17:00.002+08:00

Berpuluh-puluh soalan menimpa!

Sampai bila nak jadi macam ni?

Sampai bila nak tunggu?

Tunggu ke?

Mengharap ke?

Tunggu ape?

What do u expect?

Apa yang bagus sangat?

Apasal boleh jadi macam ni?

Sampai bila?

Kenapa macam ni?

etc

etc

We Struggle Yes

2011-03-26T02:04:00.002+08:00

Lectures are overrr... No more classes. Damn scary! coz my final exam will start REALLY soon! first paper will be on Tuesday! Scary kannn??? then d next paper will be on Sunday. Yea, I know! Be prepared to hear... "ape la uni awak ni? Exam hari Ahad pulak?" from my family. wut to do... weekdays ke, weekends ke... there's no different. it's still EXAM WEEK! which will be a nervous week and a stressful week, sleepless week, tension week, crying week, EATING week (due to d stress)... mahahahah~ study leave aka study week??? u can call it study day, instead. mahahah~ supposedly ade la 2 hari study leave... but then, since our lecturer dah buat a decentralized exam on one of d day, so tinggal lah sehari aje. luckily there's kinda a big gap in between d papers. fiuh~

all in all... I am NERVOUS! only one thing I hope, dapat jawab dengan mudah dan tenang. InsyaAllah...

teringat tips dr abangFattah... kita tak boleh nak tukar kertas soalan... so berdoa la pada Allah, agak tergerak hati ni, tuk bace benda2 yg akan keluar. AMIN~

all d best to all my unimates yg laen yg akan menghadapi peperiksaan final seperti I...

teringat kata2 dia... "we struggle yes, but we will triumph"

InsyaAllah...

"Allah tengok usaha kita..." bak kate Ain...

jom kita usaha, and kita tawakal pada Allah... sesungguhnya kita hanya boleh merancang, Allah yang menentukan... smoga semua ilmu yang kita pelajari diberkatiNya...

AMIN~

Air Mata

2011-03-22T18:59:00.002+08:00

Hari ini... something something something.. (tak boleh cerita) tapi apa yang I nak sampaikan disini adalah nasihat daripada seseorang yang menyatakan...

"Air mata juga adalah makhluk Allah. Bila kita menangis, itu juga satu rahmat daripada Allah. Sesetengah orang, tak dapat menangis sebab Allah tak izinkan air matanya mengalir. Bila air mata keluar, ia mengeluarkan toksik dari dalam badan. It's proven bila scientist tengok air mata through microscope. Sebab tu bila kita nangis, kita relieved. Sebab tu sebaik-baiknya bila buat solat taubat, berdoa pada Allah, kita kena menangis. Untuk bersihkan diri..."

Subhanallah... Maha Suci Allah...

Tak pernah terlintas dekat fikiran I semua tu...

Ding!

2011-03-21T12:08:00.002+08:00

I'm making a big step today.

Yeap!

I'm doing this.

Tomorrow will be d day.

To open up to someone new.

I'm not giving up.

I akan berusaha

Dan selebihnya

Bertawakal kpd Allah SWT.

"Sesungguhnya Allah itu Maha Pengampun," gaya Faiq aka Aidil. (xde kne mengena)

Nanana~

2011-03-21T00:00:00.003+08:00

when will it go away?

when?

coz i can't bear with it anymore

it's killing me inside

eating my brain cells

aching my chest

day by day

it hurts.

deeply.

For You

2011-03-19T08:34:00.002+08:00

This is specially for Nuzul...

Sorry can't spend time with u during ur school holiday. I did not do it on purpose okay? I'm not busy hanging out with friends or anything. I'm busy with exams, assignments and theatre. Even I haven't seen my friends since the Feb's bday celeb at Dave's Deli. When was that? 3 weeks ago? Even you know it...

He was complaining yesterday. Tried to persuade me to go play ping pong at club and asked me to bring him to digital mall. Not that I don't want to. I really want to, tapi sebab tak cukup masa, so I had to turn him down. Jangan merajuk, pleasE? I'll try to come back on Sunday if I don't have any urgent matters. But that I can't promise you, okay? Coz I have 3 assignments that need to be submitted next week. After Wednesday, I'll be free a lil bit coz most of my classes have been canceled.

Pergi la Ping Pong with AbangFattah tonight. Don't enjoy too much without me, ok? Jealous! Hehehe. Sedih gila bile tau harini ade family gathering in Jeram Besu tapi tak dapat join. Wargh~ bersabar lah hati... PLease ambik gambar or video so that nanti I boleh tengok. Huuu~

I'll make it up to you. Dikala kita ada kelapangan masa, boleh lah kita bersuka-ria bersama. Okay, adik???

Lots of Love,

kAkjA

Mane???

2011-03-19T01:35:00.002+08:00

Have you ever feel like crying out loud without any reason?

That you don't even know what's inside your mind that keeps bugging you?

It's all coming back to me now...

I miss them! Rindu sangat-sangattttt~ Tah kenape I rasa sangat jauh dari mereka.

And bila teringat nak call, dah lewat malam sangat.

Diorang lah second family I. my priority after my family... heeee~

Dengan mereka I gelak ketawa dan berduka.

Dengan mereka I jadi diri sendiri.

*tsk*tsk*

takpe. all this 'hectic'ness will be over soon. Sabar la... Beberapa minggu je lagi before semester ni habis. then I'll be holidaying for 5 months! WehuUuu~

Don't Start

2011-03-18T03:18:00.003+08:00

C o n f e s s i o n :

I tak suka cakap soal hati atau feeling meeling ni.

keep that topic in a land far far away from me...

MAHAHAHA~

And the Reason is...

2011-03-18T01:51:00.003+08:00

Everything happens for a reason.

Alhamdulillah hari ni dapat balik rumah. Legaaa dapat tengok Mama, Papa, and Nuzul. Miss them! Esok pagi akan menjenguk anak-anak buah I pulak. Mungkin tak dapat jumpa KakLong and AbangFattah. They must be working, and I need to go back to UIA because kul 8 ade test CF. It's killing me! Lecturer cakap ade 20 soalan MCQ. Tapi, masok SEMUA chapter wey! Gila tak? And I belum habis bace 1 chapter pon! Ngantok ni! Tengah try nak hilangkan ngantok. Nescafe dah setin dah. I guess sebab dah seminggu tak cukup tidur, so the nescafe didn't work at all.

Takpe! I know I can do this. I just need some time utk blend in the books. Mahahah~ Bukan blend buku okay! Nak kena cari mood menatap buku la. Ngeeeeee~

So. sampai depan guard house tadi, I mintak nak masuk parking visitors. Then guard tu kate parking dah penuh. So I cam pelik gileeee... Takkan la parking basement pon penuh? And he said management dah tak kasi parking bawah. WTH??? Then parking yg berlambak-lambak tu korg nk wt ape? Tak bertukar jadi emas pon! Gile sakit hati! Sumpah! Sampai I gaduh2 ngan guard tu. And end up I kena parking kat tepi jalan.

And, I tak tau la sejak bila over sensitive pulak diri ni. Dah masuk lift nak naik atas, rasa cam nak nangis sebab over geram. Then teringat pulak I lupa nak stering lock. Mesti papa bising kalau I tak lock. Masuk rumah ngan muka masam mencuka, tak cakap ngan sape2 pon. Drop all my things and turun bawah balik pergi stering lock. Before sempat I masuk lift, Papa dah jerit tanye I nak pergi mane. Time I dah sebak, lagi la susah nak cakap. Lagi I cakap, lagi I nak nangis. So I tried to talk jugak, and Papa tak dengar pon ape I cakap. End up papa pulak marah I... "Kecek pong tok butir" wargh! lagi I sakit hati~ Huuuuuuuu~

Haihhhh~ What a day. Bila dah masuk rumah again, I trus masuk bilik, calm myself, bersihkan diri... I pergi living and meet my parents. Heeee~ and said 'Sorry' to them.

Itu lah saye.. Haih~ terasa mcm anak derhaka pulak. Adehhh~ Tak sengaja, sungguh! Tengah sangat-sangat geram, so I betta keep quiet. And kalau sampai nangis tu, memang bengang over limit la tu. Huuuu~ Bercampur ngan penat skali kot... Haiyoh!

Teheee~

2011-03-16T12:44:00.003+08:00

Guess what!!! cuba teka I tgh online dekat mane... Teka la! Teka! Teka! Hahaha~

I online from my room! huyea! sgt best! eventhough line memang mcm kura2, but Alhamdulillah at least boleh check e-mails... tibe-tibe this question appeared.. "kau ni da tahun keberape?"

ngeee~ dah 3rd year! bru nak register wireless. hoho~ org laen da puas menggunakan kemudahan ini di UIA, I bru register semalam. Heee~ So org da tak boleh nak kate.. "nik online, mesti kt rumah la tu!" hahahhaha~

d things is, dulu I da pernah register wireless uia ni. den hardrive i rosak, so kne tukar harddrive, as good as mcm reformat laptop la. den I pegi la dkt information technology department nak register again. then, ade this abang yg keje kat situ agak 'tak best'... dah la die suruh I pegi sane kul 6 ptg, konon nk tlg. so I pegi, den I tunggu die bwt smpi kul 730 gitu, tapi still xley bwt. den die kate laptop I ni mcm ade virus n bla bla bla. so I mcm da mls nk g ITD coz xnak jmpe die da. Hahahaha~ (fine! saye mmg sensitive skit. heeeeee~)

Then semalam penat mengangkut laptop kesane kemari sbb nak siapkan presentation. Dah alang2 ade free time, I pon pegi la ITD tuk register, den brother tu bwt cpt je. Heee~ TQ! Seronok kejap coz now senang skit nak wt keje. Tapiiii... lepasni I nak kasi alasan ape nak balik rumah??? Hehehehe~ Nak print kerja blh diterima x? Ngeeeeeee~

I miss home. I miss my family! :( Bile boleh balik eh? Minggu ni busy sangat sangat with deadlines. Next week ade 2 termpaper kne submit. wouhuuuu~

Wake Up!!!

2011-03-13T01:31:00.002+08:00

Study naza oi! Study!!!

Exam lg 2 minggu je wey!

Study la skrg!

Assignment berlambak lagi tak siap!

Yang nak kne submit Isnin pon tak start buat lagi!

Sehat ke x ni?

Sedar ke x ni?

Econometrics tak buat lagi! Presentation hr Rabu!

Corporate Finance pun tak buat lagi! Presentation hari Khamis!

Mung gilo ko?

Study CF tu! Quiz 2 (or more like Test 2) hari Jumaat!

STUDYYYY!!!

Bwt keje tu!!!

Luka

2011-03-12T20:53:00.003+08:00

Maybe dah terlalu lame...
Nak bagi die heal pon susa...
*sigh*
But I know Allah will help me go through this...
Stay away, devils...
Will not let u win...

Though, I a bit menyesal...
Sebab tak try to cari jalan penyelesaian...
Dari dulu lagi...
Now dah rase beban tak dapat ditanggung...
I guess sebab dah lame sangat...
Even I sendiri tak percaye...
Dah beberapa tahun berlalu...

I tot time will heal the pain...
But it's not that easy...
Kalau tak usaha, mcm mane nak settle?
I tot by 'bwt bodo'...
Lame2 I akan okay...
Tapi sakit dia makin dalam...

Hehee~

Ape-ape pun...
Please doakan I

=)

Week 12th out of 14

2011-03-11T02:00:00.003+08:00

I am finally home, after 4 hari tak balik. (rase mcm lame gile, pdhal 4 hr je) sampai pun dah lewat gile, i think almost 1 AM coz tadi papa pick me up on his way back from Kelantan. Papa drive sorgggg~ risau sungguh tadi ble nak dkt kul 12 pun papabelum call. Sorry to all casts and crews of 'Cintaku Milik Siapa?' coz tadi I had to go back early. akan bersama dengan korg on Sunday, ok? training elok2.. ;)

Petang tadi after class, contact ham. and die tengah dekat bilik. so as usual we had our catch up session. den da almost 6PM, both of us cam ngantok and bilik Ham sangat lah best utk tidur. I guess sebab curtain die warne merah, so bwt bilik tu rase cozy.. cahaya yang masuk samar2 gitu! heeeee~

so both of us terlelap. tp phone I asyik bunyi2 je.. tension btol. huhuu~ nak silent kan, tapi sbb mamai2, tak tersilent. i'm so sorry, ham! sure pasni ham xnk tidur ng nik da. hohoho~

anyways, I nak cakap, I gonna miss her so much. tinggal 2 minggu je lagi kitorang akan bersama kt uia. *tsk*tsk* sape la I nak cari di kala ke'stress'an, ke'sunyi'an, ke'tension'an... and bile mood story telling menjelma, ng sape I nak bebel2? ngeeeee~ a year in UIA without will be sooo not cool!!!

Ham, I juz wanna say, even kite da jauh a bit la. rumah dekat je lagi. but I know nnt Ham sure busy working. Dah faham sangat keje architect mmg amat busy.. I juz hope we'll keep in touch yea!!! I'll miss u, ham!!! Thanks for being a great neighbor kt uIA. heeeeeeee~

dlu pon ham deskpartner kt dlm kls yg best! heeeeee~

oh oh!!! I happy gile nuzul tak jadi gi camping over this weekend. I'm so damn happy that he'll join us pergi JB! huyeay! then papa kate nak singgah jenguk Cik(nenek) dekat Melaka. double yeay! sumpah i rindu nak lepak ngan nuzul. last week die ade camping kt skola, then on Sunday ade seminar kt UIA the whole day, so ktrg x dpt lepak. weekend ni supposedly g lembah genting, ade prefect's camp. tp da ditunda. i melompat-lompat bile tau, coz I tot minggu ni memang tak boleh jmpe Nuzul langsong. it'll be a disaster to me la. nanti I akan stress sendiri. Korg kena faham, I dengan Nuzul mmg sgt rapat. kitorang membesar together. even Nuzul tu 7 years younger than me, tapi I mcm byk depend on him la. Dia la yang suke memanjakan I. Any how, kitorang memang memanjakan oleh each other. Cakap pasal dimanjakan...

I rase sebak bile sampai rumah tadi. Masuk aje bilik I, everything dah siap. Cadar baru, sejadah and towel pun dah tersedia atas katil. Subhanallah... I rase bersalah gile Mama terlalu manjakan saye. Huaaaaaaa~ Mama menatang kitorang mcm minyak yang penuuh.. just name it! ape yang mama tak bwt utk kitorang? *gulp* mama! I LOVE YOU! only Allah yang dapat balas semua jasa mama. Berat dada I, coz I rase I tak mampu nak balas jasa mama yang jage I dr kecik sampai besar.

Teringat mama called me 2 days ago... "KakJa tak balik ke?"
Me: Tak kot, Ma...
Mama: Tak pe lah. Kakja tak nak balik takpelah... (gaye merajuk)

Gile rase bersalah. Bukan I tak nak balik, tapi few weeks ni agak busy. With assignments, quizzes, presentations, and prepare for final... mencabar! Then tadi Papa main decide sendiri that he's going to pick me up. Takde plak nak tanye I nak balik ke tak. So bile Papa tak tanye tu, it's an order which I can't avoid la. Aduyai~ Papa memang d type yang suke bwt decision tuk org. Die nak ikot kepale die je la. I guess thats why I boleh ngam ng papa, coz sometimes I just dun wanna plan my life, so Papa will decide everything for me. Bkn la tak nak plan life. Macam, just in a day, I tak nak plan nak bwt ape. So Papa will always decide everything. Heeee~ But sometimes, I ngan Papa akan berperang coz I pon d type yg suke decide tuk org. Hahahakkk~

Semangat Baru Minggu Baru

2011-03-06T22:58:00.004+08:00

Yeay! I dah start panic! Sebab finals in 3 weeks! huuuu~ and so far, which i listed.. 4 subjects out of d 6 subjects i took this sem, ade 32 topics. muahahha~ tu blom list down lg 2 subjects. ngeeeeee~ am so dead, am i??? hari ni bru mood study menjelma. syukurrr~

hopefully minggu ni dapat study dengan semangat! dapat cover few topics, and dpt siapkan few assignments yang due date nya dah nak dkt!! ade satu assignment psl faraidh, kne submit on the 15th. minggu ni akan ade satu or dua or tiga presentation. woah~

wish me luck!!!

nur Ilham, minggu ni kita bertapa di UIA, ya? insyaAllah nik tak balik till friday, unless ade urgent matters kat rmh... heeeee~ study same2 jom, ham!!! :D

p/s: first paper exam on the 29th of march... Intermediate Macro II!!! woootttt~

Butterfly

2011-03-06T07:41:00.000+08:00

Sihat Sebelum Sakit

2011-03-06T07:19:00.002+08:00

Oleh kerana I tengah sakit... and terpaksa membatalkan segala aktiviti luar... kerana dadaku menandakan tanda-tanda athma bakal menjelma... *sigh*

Tapi I tetap bersyukur, coz if nak compare sakit-sakit lain sebelum ni, tahap kesihatan I masih di tahap yang tinggi. Betul la orang kata. Pengalaman mengajar kita. Pengalaman (experience; observation of facts or events) kena 'kayap' end of last year betul-betul menguji I. agaknya macam tu la Nuzul kena chicken pox dulu eh? I kesian gile tengok Nuzul kena chicken pox.dah la sangat lama. Semua org kena tolerate, mama tak boleh menggoreng sbb petua kata kalau menggoreng dlm rumah, nanti pesakit chicken pox akan sakit. Bezanya, kayap ni sakittttt sangat. kena kat peha belah kanan I, dan hampir seluruh anggota kaki kanan hingga lah ke pinggang tak dapat gerak. sakit woooo! serious!!! even abangFattah pun cakap..

"Haha! rasakan penangan *****(name scientific kayap yg i x igt)"

huargh! serious tertekan sangat time tu. coz almost 4 hari kaki I sangat sakit, I tot tersalah urat. Tapi rupa-rupanya kayap. Dan bila bintik2 mula menjelma ala-ala mcm chicken pox, pergh!!! sakitnya hanya Allah yang tau. ade la 3 hari I tak boleh gerak. Huuuu~ I tidur je sepanjang hari coz I can't do anything. Even time tidur, nak gerakkan skit pon sakit. Huuuu~ tak terbayang!

So... Bersyukur lah atas kesihatan yang diberikan Allah. Coz u won't realize how valueable it is till u lose it. and, mencegah lebih baik drp mengubati, bukan? Dan kalau sakit pun, try to calm down, cuba jangan mengeluh. Kerana Allah ingin menguji kita. Papa always akan marah kalau kitorang mengeluh time sakit. Or if kitorang sibok2 nak gi klinik, coz for him, mcm boleh sehat sendiri gitu la, and for him, clinic tak semestinya dapat sembuhkan. Onlly Allah could. Kalau Papa sakit, seriously SUSAH sangat nak suruh dia gi clinic. I don't even remember when was the last time bawak papa gi clinic. haaa~

and teringat jugak haritu tibe-tibe papa kire all doctors in the family, including nieces & nephews... I think ade 9 ke 10 org la.. then he said... "Ade 10 orang doctor akan duk keliling papa time sakit nanti, tapi mati tetap mati..." and he laughed. Kinda a joke la. OKay! papa and his brothers and sisters memang suke joke bnde2 mcm ni. Heheheh~ diorang mcm sgt sempoi, and feels like death is nothing. semua org pun akan mati. memang la betul, but few people sensitive bout it, but they're not. heeeeeee~ I wish when we grow older, I nak rapat ngan my siblings just like them.

Flu-u-uu...

2011-03-04T23:55:00.002+08:00

Down with flu again??? no... this is not good. pagi esok tournament tennis. cemane? eventhough I know it'll be suck, but I told myself, just enjoy it. Hehehe~ Main tennis bukan senang, seriously! Eventhough I've been playing since I was 7! Hohooo~ Tapi yer la, slalu stop, main once in a while aje. So abangFattah dah bising2, he said that I shouldn't stop playing, coz bila dah lama2, nak dpt rhythm balik susah... I'll be partnering (if d word even exist) with a fren, AbiL!!! Heheheh~ knew her when I was in Nilai. she was my roomate. heee~

Flu is not good for me. coz it'll lead to coughs & athma. I like flu, though. Hahaha. Coz I'll have d chance to take this med, Bectafed. and d effect is sooo cool, I can be asleep within 5 minutes. A good sleep, I mean, which is rare for me. Pernah jugak dengar a ceramah said, even a 'good sleep' is rezeki. bkn semua org boleh dpt. looks like rezeki I mmg x banyak (in terms of tidur). Huhu~ Coz everytime bangun tidur, I feel so tired. hoh~ it means xdpt tidur yg elok la kan? tidur supposedlybwt kita rase fresh...

I'm working on, bangun awal! Hehehe~which means, bangun subuh den tak tidur, ye! Coz waking up late makes me a bit moody and malas. haiyoh!

But, the fact that senang sangat sakit ni freaks me out. Not enuf anti-body? Sebab baru je had a flu last 3 weeks, mase tengah busy dengan theatre. That was.... *speechless*... I would say, terrible! coz dah la tengah busy, then kena pulak duduk kat main audi which is sangat sejuk... huuuu~ and ade this one time I memang dah tak larat sgt, I gi tidur dekat backstage. and not to forget, thanks to Rush sebab kasi his ubat flu. Alhamdulillah, Allah sembuhkan I dengan cepat...

Ice Room

2011-03-04T08:25:00.002+08:00

Grrrrr~ (gaya kesejukan) Before dan balik Kuantan, sempat la jumpe and meet up. Dan and Effa picked me up from home then Effa suggested tuk pegi Ice Room in Kota Damansara.

Merong Mahawangsa

2011-03-03T22:25:00.000+08:00

can't wait to see this movie next week. showing on the 10th of March. I guess da almost setahun I tengok trailer die. Hoho~~~ I'm so proud coz ade anak Malaysia yang dpt buat movie mcm ni. Good job, KRU! ;)

Cerita Basi

2011-03-03T08:36:00.002+08:00

pssttt... thanks Ilham for giving me the idea of kidnap gmbr dr facebook. muhahaha~ before this I malas nak post pictures because I suke tukar2 laptop. kejap laptop mama, kejap gune nuzul punye, kejap guna papa punye.. I punye guna kadang2 je. coz my lappy dah cramp sgt. I tak sempat nak clean die lagi (as in transfer all pictures into external). sumpa lembab da laptop i..

excuse my lazyness. crite ni mungkin dah basi. but I still wanna talk bout it coz it's a very nice outing with them after we haven't met for quite some time. I guess the last time was before Jehan flew back to aussie. lame kan??? a few weeks la. ngehehehe~

and what is more important bout this outing with my schoolmates... is because we celebrate 3 burfdays at one shot! saving skittt... hehehek~ kebetulan pulak burfday drg dkt2, so boley la kan.. heheheh...

1. sharizad baharom 22nd february... *clap*clap*
2. azizul azfar abd azid 25thfebruary... *clap*clap*
3. madihah mustafa 1st march... *clap*clap*

It was Sunday. Bright and sunny. d day started with a tennis session with abgFattah. I almost fainted after 2 rounds of forehand and 2 rounds of backhand. abangFattah fed me the balls, and I kena kejar and pukul. huahua~ sumpah penat gile! till I dah tak dpt dgr apa2, and tak nampak apa2, I sat down and relax, trying to catch my breath. seb baek x jatuh tersembam je. huuuu~ after an hour playing tennis, I ikot mama and papa pergi beli breakfast dekat Santai...

Then, balik rumah utk siap2, Nuzul decided to follow me coz I said nak gi makan dekat Dave's Deli. and yeah, I know he wanted to buy pc game dekat OU. So kitorang keluar arnd 12 pm, pick up Ham and pergi curve beli CUPCAKES CHIC. nyummyyY~ then pergi ou and jumpe with the rest dekat Dave's Deli. Dah jadi new fave tempat makan kitorang. Hehehe. Shasha la yg introduce dkt kitorang. Hueee~

So.. eventhough I dah wish korang, but I still wanna say it out loud overhere...

HAPPY BURFDAY, KORG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I so love them. And hope our friendship will stay forever. Nanti kite ley jadi mcm d group yg dok sbelah kite kat Dave's Deli tu. like I said... "That's us in five years.." Certain dah ade anak kecik, most of them dtg dgn partner. Awwwwhhhhh~ sweet, kan? We must do that! Heee~ Sayang korang!

Elite & KRU - Dipintu Syurga

2011-03-02T23:46:00.000+08:00

Just Being Me

2011-03-02T00:57:00.002+08:00

i should be studying.. but I don't know.. I'm so distracted. Biase la, time-time genting mcm ni, evrything came up. It's all coming back to me now. But, i promise myself, no matter what happen, i won't neglect my studies. go away disturbance!

Talking to the moon

2011-03-02T00:42:00.000+08:00

Panjangnya! Takyah Baca!

2011-02-26T01:47:00.003+08:00

Entah mood ape mlm ni.. I feel like crying... Out of a sudden... Tgk crite sedih ke? So not! Coz tgk '12 Rounds' kot! action movie can never make u sad...

Tibe2 in the mood nak cerita pasal my most terrible week of the year. I'll tell u whyyyy...

1. Sunday: WHole day bertapa kat UIA. then pergi jalan TAR pulak beli some materials utk teater. Balik a bit lewat. Sempat grab Nescafe from 7-E as usual utk stay up study mlm tu. Couldn't sleep coz my parents are on their way home from Kota Bharu. They took almost 3 hours from Machang to Kuala Krai. Tu memang kire terok la, serious! Usually it only take 45 mins. and, I memang tak boleh tidur selagi all fam members ade kt rumah. Dlu mase AbangYong still staying with us, I'll make sure die balik dlu bru I boleh tidur. Dia pulak suka balik lambat... kul 1 ke, 2 ke, 3 ke.. Sometimes tertidur la jugak. Tapi tak lena la. Dengar je orang masuk rumah (means dia dah balik) baru lah I dapat tidur dengan aman. So I stay up sampai kul 430 pagi cmtu la. and end up dah tak larat sgt nak study, I juz baring atas katil. around 530, my parents sampai. Alhamdulillah. 12 hours! Bertolak 5 petang, sampai 5 pagi. So after solat Subuh, I decided to tidur kejap. Dapat la 2 jam. By 9 I dah bangun siap2 nak balik to campus. Memang pening la. Badan rasa melayang-layang, kaki macam tak pijak tanah. Huuuu~

2. Monday: Pergi classes and ade training teater at night. Tak tidur lagi coz esoknya ade midterm exam for Intermediate Macroeconomics II

3. Tuesday: Selesai aje midterm, lega skit. Dapat pergi training dgn sedikit kelegaan. Still, malam tu, after training, balik bilik around 2AM. Heeeeeeee!

4. Wednesday: Attend classes...nothing much. Study for next midterm exam on Saturday.

5. Thursday: Oleh kerana kekalutan dan kecuaian saye. Dengan ini, saya telah men'calar'kan kereta dengan menggesel kan bdn kereta dengan kereta laen. kereta tu relax je takde ape pon. My car kemek and calar ade la 15 cm (satu pembaris pendek) Huarghhhhhhh! Frust amat!!! Just like what I did to Satria dulu. Tapi Satria terok lagi la. Hoooo~ Nak nangis! Tapi bertahan...
I guna tactic "Naza, Jangan Fikir... Biarkan... Dah jadi... Let it be..." psycho diri sendiri... Fine! I think malam tu lepak2 dengan Ham kejap, so I tak stress sgt..

6. Friday: Decided hari ni nak balik rmh. grab few things. and I prefer to stay up kat rumah and study for midterm d next day... Terlambat bangun pagi tu. Huhu! And dibangunkan oleh message drp Cik Ilham... "Nik kenapa parking situ? Kereta nik kena clamp!" Damn it! The first thing i fikir. There goes my money, NO!!! So I mcm panic gile terus call Ham. Then Ham adviced me suro pegi settle cpt2. Okay, fine. Bersabar lah hati... After a nangis session, I pun pergi la security post dengan main entrance tu. Jauh la drp bilik. Luckily Alia Raihana Azhari sudi membantu, drivekan I ke sane. Thanks a lot, Alia! I owe u loads! So cuba la settle ng pakguard. Check2, I ade another saman yg about a month ago la. Its bcoz I kelentong pakguard kate I ni visitors. Damn! Wrong move! I bagi muke 1sen (paling kesian) and end up dia kasi bukak clamp RM15, den another saman dia reduce to RM20. Fine2. Bersabar...
Tengah hari pergi mkan korean food dkt Ampang Point with my friends. best! Petang pulak Jehan came by to visit me, while lepak and borak sambil tengok theatre training. I'm so happy!!! Kitorang masuk toilet sama2, ambik wudhuk sama2, and gelak2 bwt lawak. Precious! (sebab slalunye I sorg2 je)
Malam tu pulak, Nuzul called banyak kali and marah2 coz dah pukul 10 lebih pun I'm still in UIA, tapi I cakap nak balik... "Balik la cepat! Nanti Papa tak kasi balik la kalau kakJa lambat! Nanti Papa marah la!" Wargh~ Pressure... I was still at the theatre training until 11 lebih kot bru bertolak... Singgah 7E to grab Nescafe. Then masuk basement parking. Kena pulak naik tangga dengan barang I yang banyak. Beg baju, handbag, laptop, camera, plastic 7E. Suddenly langkah I pendek pulak, tak lepas naik anak tangga, gedebok! I terjatuh then lutut kena bucu tangga. Semua barang jatuh, tin nescafe I jatuh celah tangga, terus turun ke tingkat bawah "BUSH!" OKAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Seriously I tot dah tak boleh jalan dah sebab sakitnya Ya Allah, hanya Tuhan yg tau. Nak nangis kat situ jugak tp I bertahan. Angkat balik semua barang and naik atas. Masuk je pintu rumah, wallet pulak jatuh and bersepah semua barang. Nuzul mcm dah dapat sense something is wrong, dgn baik hati kutip wallet serta isi-isinya. I terus masuk bilik, duduk di birai katil and beristighfar. Di situlah I tewas. I cried because so many things went wrong, and I just hope nothing worse will happen. I HOPE! After dah tenang sikit, I bersihkan diri, check email and all, I pun nak start study. WORST! WORST! WORST of the week! I left my notes (utk exam esok) dekat tmpt training teater. I burst into tears and gave up! While sobbing, I baca Yassin nak bagi tenang sikit. Teringat malam before SPM starts, I text to KakLong told her Im so nervous. She asked me to baca Yassin. Tengah baca pun nangis2 sebak gila dada. I don't know what happen to me. I'm losing myself. I do lotsa mistakes! While training pun, mcm2 la. I hilang skrip. I hilang listname. I salah bagi que. Salah itu, salah ini. I was fed up with myself. After I get some grip of myself, I grab my textbook and I fikir... I got much more time (tak sangat la)... So I could read up the text book, igt ape yg blaja kt kls, ingat ape yg ade dlm notes. So I did... Sampai la Subuh, lepas solat I tidur kejap. Tu la kemuncak of my terrible week.

7. Saturday: Coz Jehan is leaving in a day, we had breakfast together, including Eric, Affa, Ham, Sha, Effa, Aqir, Omar, Capek and Dan. I drop by kejap before balik campus, to grab some breakfast la. Then I balik campus awal coz amik notes, then revise skit kt bilik. Alhamdulillah. the test was Okay je la. Susah jugak, but I manage to answer all. Betul or salah belakang kire. I takde la rase terseksa nak jawab exam tu. That's all matters to me. I don't like d feeling of takley jawab, takley nak merapu, takde idea langsung nk tulis ape... So atleast I could occupy d empty spaces, I dah lega. Hahaha. So after the midterm baru lah tenang sikit and I could enjoy the theatre. Tapi memang rasa exhausted sangat coz seminggu macam tak tidur je. Huuuu~

8. Sunday: Sebab the night before pun tidur lambat. Around 3 pm, so I terbangun lambat. I promised Jehan nak gi rumah dia, see her before dia bertolak g airport. I'm sorry again, Jehan. Sedar2 tu dah pukul 8 lebih. Sorry sangat2! We'll meet up soon, ok? In JUNE! :D Dari pagi sampai ke malam bertapa di main audi. sembahyang pun dekat main Audi. One thing yg bwt I tersentuh sepanjang hari ni, when I see the boys solat berjemaah dekat atas stage. Subhanallah! Macam this one bond and strength of ummah yang I tak dpt nak describe. Keep it up, guys. Sejuk hati I tengok :D
Theatre start around 830. Effa, Ham, Ika, Affa and Faizzul came! Dapat jumpe diorang kejap pon I dah happy gile! Weeeeeee~ Thanks korg coz dtg jauh2. Thank u so much!!! :D :D :D

And thanks to all casts and crews of teater 'Cintaku Milik Siapa?'. We've done our best! Alhamdulillah~ So that's the story of my terrible week. Calarkan kereta, kena clamp, jatuh tangga, tertinggal notes, sleepless nights... It has been a tough week for me.. But Alhamdulillah everything is over and I survive. Huhu~

Takde Ape Pun

2011-02-23T22:09:00.003+08:00

RANDOM: Ni la team teater 'Cintaku Milik Siapa?'... huehue... tapi tak ckup semua org niii. This pic was taken last Friday dekat Wangsa Walk. Spent an evening with them. Lovely!

So today, kononnya nak tidur kat UIA. tetapi ptg td papa called...

Papa: Awk kat mane?

Me: Kat UIA la. Papa kat mane tu?

Papa: Papa baru bertolak nak balik KL. Tak sampai Kuala Krai lagi... Tak balik hari ni?

Me: Nope. Kenapa?

Papa: Nak suruh email kan surat...

Me: Suruh la adik...

Papa: Ade kelas malam ni?

Me: Takde.

Papa: Then, balik la. Kalau tak e-mail surat papa malam ni, nyanyo (susah la) ke papa...

Me: Aaa??? Tapi ade kelas lagi ni sampai kul 7...

Papa: Esok kelas pukul berapa?

Me: 1130

Papa: Ha, boleh la balik tu. Lepas kelas balik la...

Me: Fine...

So cepat2 packing, angkut beg masuk kereta. Muahahaha~

I love HOME!

To Whom It May Concern

2011-02-22T23:46:00.003+08:00

Dear, !*&$#&...
Tiba-tiba teringin nak tulis something for u. So here goes...
What's up? How have u been? I've been pretty busy. Exam in 4 weeks time. Cuak wey! Theatre haritu was a success. I did call u coz nak ajak kau datang jugak. But u didn't answer my call, and didn't even return my call. Yeah, dah biase. So wth, kan? It was fun. I met new people, AIKOL students most of 'em. Coz actually the event was under LawSociety. So club aku ni macam invited to perform la. I learn lotsa things too. The pressure? Fiuh! Banyakkkk sungguh! Lagi-lagi time tu tengah busy with mid-term exams, jugak. I guess for the first time in this semester I spent my weekends in UIA. Hohoho~ Effa, Ika, Ham, Affa and Faizzul dtg tgk. Diorang tak bagi comment yang positive pon! Hahah! But I noe it was not that good la. Ramai jugak complain agak berterabur, especially bile nak tukar2 props on stage. Hectic sangat! Ham Effa n Ika pulak kate banyak sangat lagu. Coz kononnye Teater Muzikal. Tapi kitorang invite penyanyi2 nasyid, which are IQ-One and Suhaimi Inteam nyanyi...

So how are u? Sure busy jugak coz kau menghilang as usual. Now aku dah start busy ngan assignments pulak. Every week, ade je assignment nak kena submit. Overall, aku ade 8 asisgnments, which most of 'em memang tak buat lagi la as usual. Tunggu last minute baru nak menggelabah. hehehek!

Hey! I do hope we could catch up soon. When we met haritu pun tak sempat borak sangat. Hope to hear from u soon. And wishing you all the best in whatever u do. Oh! Aku ade tennis tournament next weekend. Wish me luck! :D

Truly Sincerely,

nIkKynAzA

Nice Weekend

2011-02-21T00:27:00.002+08:00

I am still BUSY~

Hahahah~ Yeah riteee! Not really la.. Weekend ni sangat best and relaxing.. Ye! Saye sendiri buat weekend jadi relax coz starting next week, InsyaAllah akan start study for finals. Finals in 5 weeks! Tidakkk!!!

Friday: Spend d whole morning in my room, lepak2... Then went to Wangsa Walk with theatre team... Kitorang lunch dkt heritage house, then bowling, then karaoke. Gile! Sume jerit like hell! Kalah vocal training. Hohoho~

Saturday: Still.. lepak2 at home... Lunch dekat wedding neighbor. Die bwt dkt Hall TTDI. Petang, went to play ping pong with abangFattah and Nuzul. The kids gi swimming dkt KGNS. Dinner dekat sane. Best!!!!!!!! Dah lama tak dapat dinner ramai2 cmtu. Tapi unfortunately abangYong and KakAyu takde... Balik rumah mandi and tukar baju, Effa and Dan pick me up pergi Ice Room in Kota Damansara. Lepak with them for a while aje..

Sunday: Pagi lagi dah keluar ngan Effa. around 11 am. Then pergi OU. Effa shopping, then tengok "The Mechanic". Best! And mcm2 lagi jadi. Petang dah nak dekat kul 5 bru I balik. Coz I da promise nak training tennis ngan AbangFattah. Getting ready for IIUM Tennis Tournament in 2 weeks. Fiuh~

Cakap pasal tennis, hari ni blaja serve. Spin serve! Bes jugak la. Coz selama I main tennis since standard 1, I tak pernah blaja a proper serve. Slu main blasah je. Hohoho. Tapi disebabkan tak biase, so lengan kanan ni dah skit. Sobs sobs.. Hope it'll get well soon, coz nak angkat gelas pun skt :(

Emo Pulak

2011-02-18T12:18:00.002+08:00

Hati... Feelings...
Something yang sangat kompleks...
Sungguh!
Siapa boleh faham apa yang tersirat dalam hati seseorang?
Sometimes, tuan punya badan pun tak faham...

Perasaan pulak ada macam-macam...
Tambah lagi bila semua jenis perasaan dah bercampur-baur...
Siapa boleh mengerti?

Sakit yang aku tanggung...
Pedih yang dia tahan...
Aku tak faham...
Dia pun tak faham...

Hati ni merintih dengan seribu satu persoalan...
Kisah lagi ke pasal aku?
Kenapa kau buat aku mcm ni?
Kau dah tak ingat aku ke?
Kau tak sayang aku ke???

Siapa nak jawab semua ni...
Jawapan yang aku takkan dpt sampai bila2...
Sebab dia dah takde dalam life aku...
Bagi lah berjuta soalan lagi pun...
Persoalan hanya tinggal persoalan...

Tapi aku pasti, Dia akan membimbing aku ke jalan yang benar...
Yang diredhai-Nya...
hanya Dia mengerti seluruh isi jiwa aku...
hanya Dia tahu apa yang terbaik buat ku...
aku pasti Dia akan berikan kebahagiaan buat hambaNya yang tidak alpa...
hanya menanti masa...

Suddenly, how I wish his drama tu btul2...
At least I know there's no space for me?
Space? Apa aku merepek!
I don't need it!
I just need a friend.
OKay! Mungkin tak jugak...
I just miss the old days...
YeaP! The old days...

Happy Burfday Nuzul ! ! !

2011-02-17T00:33:00.003+08:00

Alhamdulillah... my one and only adik dah menjangkau 15 tahun umurnya. And yes, saya masih memanjakan dia. Heeheehee~ For me, he will always be my little brother, and will always stick to him... Eventhough he is younger than me, jarak umur kami 7 tahun. Sometimes, dia lah abang I. Heeheehee~ Nuzul always tolong I no matter apa keadaan sekali pun. Tolong I angkat barang tengah-tengah malam, teman I beli barang, and etc. I banyak terhutang budi dengan si budak kecik tu. So bila dia perlukan pertolongan I, I akan sedaya upaya membantu. Instead, I sanggup tolak ketepi hal peribadi demi memenuhi kehendak adik yang seorang tu.

We grew up together. Sebab I tak rapat dengan KakLong and AbangYong, is because they left me at home. Diorang masuk asrama masa form 4. Then, after asrama, masuk Uni pulak. duduk kat hostel. I boleh rapat dengan Nuzul sebab I tak pergi asrama. Then even I dah masuk uni, muke ni sentiasa menjengah di rumah every weekend. Kalau tak balik weekend tu tak sah. and I know, Nuzul agak kebosanan kalau I takde over the weekend. Nanti ble I balik, mula la die buat baik dengan I, ajak keluar situ sini... Malam2 keluar dinner same2.. heheheh~ sweet, kan? That's why I love him!

Dia tak tunjuk yang dia sayang I. But I know! Dia tak pernah cakap dia sayang I, but I know! Nuzul sangat unique in his own way. Tapi dia jugak sangat demanding. Huhuh! Kalau shopping dengan dia, memang letih. sebab dia sangat cerewet.

All in all... Adik Nuzul still d best. InsyaAllah, I akan jaga dia sebaik mungkin. Coz I know, he'll do the same. He won't dissapoint me, and I don't wanna disspoint him. Air yang dicincang takkan putus...

I love you, adik. Forever and ever ever after!

Worst Week of the Year

2011-02-12T02:23:00.002+08:00

Kenapa? coz hari ni aje dah tak terkira berapa kali I nangis..

*tsk*tsk*

xpe. I ingat pesan Ain... I'm a strong girl...

InsyaAllah, I will go through this...

(okay. now even ingat what happen I rasa nak nangis)

this week memang amat busy. it shows, i din even update my blog. and this is the first time I bukak blog I for this week. amazing? yes! coz se'busy' mane pun I, usually I'll have time to all this mengarut thingy, like what I'm doing right now. Hahah! Ptotnye kena studyyyyyyyyyy!!! But I just wanna calm myself by bebel dekat sini...

On second tot, I don't know whether I should give u guys d details of what happened this whole week. oh! this week has not ended yet! 2 more days... we'll see what'll happen next... Well, if I spilled the details of what happen this past 5 days, it'll show my weakness, my carelessness, my clumsyness, my ridiculousness... argh! life is so stressfull...............

Maybe nanti dah lame2 skit, ble I rase this whole week is juz ridiculous.. i'll let u noe...

and to my dearest frens... i'm so sorry..

:((